You Need To Date Someone Who Challenges You (Even If They Drive You Crazy)

Sep 27, 2018 by apost team

For many people, finding a partner who pushes them to reach their true potential is a difficult proposition. After all, most people fear change on some level. Change can be a frightening thing, especially when it means that we'll have to leave our comfort zone and accept some level of risk of failure.

But with a supportive and upbeat mate, we can quickly learn to traverse those difficult pathways that we otherwise might avoid and finally experience personal growth on a level that may surprise us. Here are just a few ways to date someone who pushes you to be your best!

Don't Find Someone Just Like You

apost.com

While conventional wisdom would have it that opposites attract, the truth is that we are most likely to date someone who tends to reflect our already-existing weaknesses rather than our potential strengths. It can be uncomfortable to be around someone who is succeeding in life when we're still stuck in self-doubt, after all.

But if we're content to spend our free time gaming or just relaxing rather than finding out more about what drives us, or if we are in a dead-end job that we hate but are scared to leave, then our most comfortable option will be to choose a mate who is as content as we are to avoid difficult decisions. In that situation, life is not likely to change anytime soon.

Suppose, for example, that we have a real talent for computer coding and graphic design. We might avoid jobs that involve these skills for fear that we're just not good enough to succeed in those areas. With a significant other who recognizes our potential and is able to encourage us to shoot for that high-paying position we'd ordinarily avoid like the plague, anything becomes possible, particularly the type of life we dream of living but choose to put off indefinitely.

Find Someone Who Is Where You Want to Be In Five Years

Does your significant other like their job, and if not, are they willing to change to seek new rewarding work? Do they spend free time engaging in activities that benefit their health and their outlook on life? Are they fun to around, or do you come away from meetings feeling negative or down about the world? Do you look at their career path and think, "I want to be like this in five years?" If the answer to any of these questions is "no," you might find that your relationship is affecting your perspective on life.

When you're with someone that you deeply admire, and who has qualities that you want to emulate, you'll be surprised at the kind of personal changes that will occur in your own outlook. Your attitudes toward life, your personal health, and your level of happiness will naturally change as their view of life becomes your normal way of seeing the world. It might seem scary to take that first step into the unknown, but as a wise person once said, "Don't mistake your horizon with the groove that you're in."

Find Someone Who Lifts You Up When You're Down

If you're having a bad day, does your significant other dwell excessively on the bad things that happened to you, or are they there to encourage you to push yourself forward and try again? Do they put you down, or suggest that you're a failure? Even these seemingly offhand comments can affect how you view yourself. And how you view yourself will directly affect your self-esteem.

If your partner tells you that nothing can be done about a situation, you may feel that things will never change, or that it is okay to not try harder. If they make you feel low, you may feel that you are not capable of succeeding if you do try harder. In either case, you're unlikely to change the behavior that is truly keeping you from succeeding.

The problem with short-term negative thinking is that it quickly becomes long-term underachievement. Becoming mired in self-pity can be tempting, since we're no longer taking any risks in life and therefore avoiding any potential failures, but it's a sure path towards decades of lost time in which we barely progress as people.

For these reasons, finding someone who can really push us towards success can be one of the greatest decisions we can make in life. We may have to search harder to find the right person, but at the end of the day, who we choose to be with can determine much about ourselves. And finding the person who helps us to achieve our best is dating done right!

If you feel that this article can help people that you know, be sure to pass it along! Who knows, it might help a friend or family member to meet the person who brings out the best in them!