Woman Tried To Compromise With SIL’s ‘Unreasonable’ Holiday Demands But Ended Up Getting Blamed For ‘Weird’ Party

Dec 08, 2022 by apost team

Thanksgiving celebrations are supposed to be fun and all about celebrating the holidays with the entire family. Some households even have traditions, like watching the annual parade on television, playing some games, or just eating dinner as a family means a lot for someone. 

While others tend to stray away from the responsibilities of hosting the complicated celebratory dinner, many are still enjoying preparing for their whole family, especially if their turn only happens once every few years. 

Reddit User u/Strange-Whinny-473 already had in mind the perfect Thanksgiving dinner for her family. OP’s dinners are usually very simple – eating a traditional thanksgiving meal, watching the parade, playing games as a family, and chugging a couple of drinks together in the evening. 

OP is very much looking forward to her time hosting this year, as the duties every year rotates only to his sister and his brother. Hosting Thanksgiving dinners are quite an overwhelming task to do, despite one’s willingness to do so; that is why complete cooperation with everyone who is attending is very crucial. 

However, OP, despite her excitement for the holidays, wondered if she was in the wrong for dismissing the demands of one member of her family to the dinner. 

“This year, my brother James (35m) and his wife Becky (31f) are having their first child. The baby is due in spring,” she posted. “This year a couple of weeks back, I get what is basically a list of demands from Becky in our family group chat. She wants to come, but her pregnancy means some things “need to be adjusted.”

The OP, who posted her situation on Reddit, laid out the rules that her sister-in-law, her brother’s wife who is pregnant and due in the Spring, made in anticipation of her attendance at the Thanksgiving party. 

“Her rules were no poultry as the smell makes her sick, no alcohol as the smell makes her sick and she can’t join in, the food needs to be served early as she needs to nap during the time it’s normally served, and she doesn’t want to play the games as she tires easily so can we just listen to music/talk in the evening instead,” the post read. 

Just the rules alone made OP “really upset.” She pointed out that none of the family members were vegetarian, so switching to a Turkey alternative isn’t something in her wheelhouse. Besides, she has already ordered the turkey, so ditching it last minute would be a complete waste of good food. 

She also highlighted that it feels “so unreasonable” if there were nine of us in the family who would not get to celebrate Thanksgiving the way they would like to do – drinking, eating when they want, or even playing their games – just because she demanded her inconsiderate rules to be met. 

But despite her reluctance, OP still extended an olive branch to her sister-in-law and her brother, meeting her demands halfway. 

“In the family chat I replied and said while I would make her a non-poultry meal and would make sure people don’t drink at the table, I wouldn’t ban poultry or alcohol from the house and I certainly wouldn’t be not playing our games. Particularly as my niece and nephew are now old enough to join in and really loved it last year,” she said. 

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However, it seemed like, despite her good intentions, the other party took her statements the wrong way. 

Both the sister-in-law and her husband accused OP of being “unreasonable,” nagging her to comply with her rules because she’s pregnant and she should be understood more. To make matters worse, OP’s mother even sided with her brother and his wife, saying that “it’s not hard to accommodate” her demands. 

Annoyed, OP told the pregnant couple that she would be uninvited to the dinner if she could not strike any compromise on her demands. 

“James called me separately to say I’m excluding her and ruining their thanksgiving and she can’t help how she feels during pregnancy. I said I wasn’t excluding her and she’s welcome if she can accept that thanksgiving has to work for everyone else too,” she furthered. In the end, OP has been bothered since her brother and sister-in-law did not actually come, now being sad because of the “weird” party. 

Meanwhile, other Redditors affirmed OP’s sentiments, saying she was just reasonable for asking for a compromise on her sister-in-law’s demands. 

“She’s demanding that you not have thanksgiving at all for her to be over. Under those conditions, she gave you no choice but to ask her to stay home. I’m concerned about your family feeding into this extreme unreasonableness,” a Redditor commented. 

“BEING PREGNANT IS NOT A DISABILITY NOR IS IT A FREE PASS FOR UNREASONABLY BAD BEHAVIOUR!” another user pointed out. 

“This is so vastly unreasonable. People who are pregnant do not get to dictate everyone else’s behavior, only their own surroundings. NTA,” someone shared. 

What do you think of OP’s situation? Do you think her sister-in-law’s demands are reasonable? What would you have done instead? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to your family, friends, and other loved ones!