Woman Tells Boyfriend His 4-Year-Old Daughter Can’t Have Her Bedroom In Their New House

Sep 21, 2021 by apost team

Not all families are the same and having a blended family can come with its own set of challenges. This is especially true when it comes down to actually deciding where people fit into your life and your home. One young family is going through a difficult transition as a woman, 24, has told her boyfriend, 30, that his daughter, 4, can’t have her own bedroom in their new home. 

The girlfriend posted her story on Reddit to see if she is in the wrong for wanting to keep their spare room a guest room instead of making it the little girl, Kate’s, bedroom. The woman even went as far as to say that her boyfriend’s daughter is always welcome in their home, but as a guest. This understandably upset the father and now he and his girlfriend are in the challenging situation of trying to navigate this argument.

One reason the girlfriend explained for wanting to keep the room a guest bedroom is because she wants it to be unoccupied for when she decides to have a baby in the future. She also said that Kate’s room would be empty 90 percent of the time so it wouldn’t be “fair” to designate it to her.

After sharing her side of the story on Reddit, nearly every user was in agreement that the woman was wrong. Many said she was being insensitive to the girl’s feelings and it doesn’t seem like she is ready to take this step with her boyfriend since she can’t fully accept his daughter into her life. Keep reading to learn more about the story and to see other people’s reactions.

The girlfriend started off her Reddit post by saying: “My boyfriend has a 4-year-old daughter ‘Kate’ from a previous relationship. I love Kate with all my heart. She lives with my BF's ex and comes to visit us for short stays and sleepovers, more often in the summertime.” 

Kate has been feeling extra anxious about the move because her dad won’t be as close as she is used to. The woman continued in her story, “Our new house is about a 30-minute drive from Kate's mom's house. It has three bedrooms: a master bedroom and two smaller bedrooms. We are converting one of the rooms to be an office for my BF and me to work from. That leaves just one spare bedroom.”

“Kate was really nervous about us moving so far away, and my BF has reassured her that she will still get to visit all the time - and she will have her own bedroom waiting for her whenever she wants. My issue with this is that I don't want Kate to treat the only spare bedroom as her personal bedroom,” the girlfriend wrote. 

While explaining that she wants a baby of her own in the future, the girlfriend implied that her boyfriend’s daughter is not part of the family. She said, “In addition, my BF and I are planning to have a child of our own, and I want to make sure that when that happens, we will have space for them to live. I can only imagine the circus in a few years if we have to tell Kate we are taking away her room to give to her new sibling. That's why I want to set expectations now - that Kate is always welcome, but she will be welcome as a ‘guest.’”

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The woman summed up the situation by writing: “My boyfriend thinks I'm being unreasonable, that Kate needs her own room for stability, especially as she feels we are moving away from her. He says we can keep a pull-out sofa in our office for guests to stay on, and call the spare room ‘Kate's room.’ I still don't think it's fair to have a room just for Kate when she won't use it very often. And I think it's reasonable to be worried at the prospect of eventually giving Kate's room away to a future child.”

The users on Reddit have united in their agreement that the woman was wrong for wanting her future stepchild to feel like a guest. “Okay, evil Step-Mother. Tell us more about how your hypothetical future child's sibling is not part of your family,” one person wrote.

Others felt it was strange that this conversation hadn’t come up already. Another commenter said, “She is a member of the family and deserves her own space. And how did you not have this conversation BEFORE buying the house? Isn't how many rooms & what they'll be used for one of the first things discussed before looking at homes to buy?”

There is also the question of how often do they have guests staying over? A third person pointed out, “(Original Poster) says she is not ok having a room for someone that is not there 90% of the time but wants instead a guest bedroom? Like how often do you receive guests? More often than your boyfriend have his own daughter over? I’m surprised.”

Do you think the woman was wrong in this situation? What would you do? Let us know and feel free to pass this along to your friends and family.