Woman Enraged At Family’s Comments & Better Treatment After She Lost A Lot Of Weight

Sep 30, 2022 by apost team

Weight struggles are a personal and sensitive subject, apart from being an issue that can trigger most people when rubbed the wrong way. In today's image-centric world, how much you weigh is so strongly linked to your sense of being that even off-hand comments can affect us deeply. This works both ways: when you gain weight and when you lose it. 

This was the case for one woman who turned to Reddit to relate her experience and the difference in the way people began treating her after losing a lot of weight.

"I've been fat since childhood. Growing up fat was hard. You're the brunt of jokes, mean and snide comments, any little pain you have at the doctors must be because of your weight. You're not allowed to complain about being too hot in the summer. Your food choices are scrutinized to death: eat a salad, well done!!!! Its so healthy!!!! Good on your for trying to lose weight!!! Eat a burger? That's why you're fat. You should try swapping the bun for lettuce. You should swap your fries for a salad. … Christ on a bike, it was exhausting," she wrote.

"I got to a point in my 20s where I decided I didn't care anymore. I was fat and that was that. I stopped efforts for intentional weight loss and started moving my body because I enjoyed it and it alleviated my depressive episodes. I also went vegan for Lent 3 years ago and never stopped after the 40 days," she added.

"I've subsequently lost a lot of weight. I haven't weighed myself in about 5 years, but I've lost a lot of weight. Went from size 18/20 to 10/12. I'm ambivalent about the weight loss, angry about the treatment of it."

The woman explained her frustration at the treatment she had received since her weight loss.

"People are nicer to me. Like they'll greet me where they didn't before. I walk into a store and the staff comes to offer me help. My Instagram likes have never been higher. Men hit on me and point out other aspects of my personality other than being funny. Nobody seems to care what I eat anymore, they even encourage me to get dessert now. People treat me with basic human decency because my body is smaller than it used to be and it fucking infuriates me. I've changed in no way. I'm the same person I've always been, but the way I move in the world has improved because my body is smaller," she wrote.

The pent-up frustration emerged in explosive fashion at a family gathering.

"I went to a family event for the first time post-pandemic. Jaws literally dropped. 'Omg OP you look soooo good!!! You have to tell me your secret!' I asked people to stop commenting on my body as it was making me uncomfortable. They persisted until I snapped," she said.

"I told them, very curtly and firmly but never shouting, that it's disgusting how they treat me. How the cousins who never invited me on girls' nights now want me to hang with them. How people are now talking to me about things other than work and taking a genuine interest in my life. How they're not even trying to conceal their fatphobia. It makes me sad that I could have had the love and support of my family all these years had I not been fat," she concluded.

She said her parents reprimanded her for the outburst before asking Redditors whether they thought she was in the wrong.

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The woman's post hit a nerve with the Reddit community, who took to the comments to share their own experiences as well as console the woman.

"Everything you said in your post is absolutely spot on. As someone who was complimented nonstop for my weight loss at the unhealthiest time in my life, I can tell you from personal experience that it seriously messes with your head and your health for people to assume that because you are thin or have lost weight, you are healthy, either emotionally or physically," one user wrote.

"What you said is true. People don't like to hear it but it's true. People, even family, value appearance and aesthetics. They can claim to be concerned about your health, when called out. It probably makes them feel better. You shot straight," another user commented.

"Fatphobia is complicated because so many of us don't realize how often we are fat-phobic. We get racism, misogyny, and homophobia but fat phobia slips under the radar. I appreciate this post for helping me to think through watching my own words," a third comment read.

A few users did, however, criticize the woman's behavior.

"Umm. I agree with you but your rage was misplaced. You basically took out a lifetime of societal fat shaming on your family. That's a bit over the top," one user wrote.

But all in all, most of the comments appeared to back the woman, who later edited her original post to add some words of wisdom.

"Fat people deserve to live lives with the same decency and respect afforded to thin people. Fat people, be happy. Curate environments where people love you no matter what you look like. You should not have to lose weight to gain respect," read her parting words.

What do you think of the woman's feelings about people's response to her weight loss? Do you think she overreacted with her family? Let us know, and pass this on to family and friends who might find this interesting.