Woman Ditches Friend’s Wedding After Being Downgraded From Bridesmaid To Photographer

Oct 07, 2022 by apost team

Weddings can be stressful, which is why they are planned to a tee right up to the day of. With brides usually taking on a large portion of that stress, it can be so lovely to have their closest friends there along the way. But when things don’t go to plan, changes can not only be taxing but downright hurtful.

For 26-year-old Aila, this was exactly the case on the day of her high school friend Deidre’s wedding. Aila was one among five of Deidre’s bridesmaids, who were not only dressed the same but also donned the same hair decorations and Tiffany bracelets gifted by the bride. All was going well until the wedding photographer, Jenny, took ill and had to leave. When the bride turned to Aila to pick up the slack, she might not have envisioned how insulted her friend would feel.

Aila took to Reddit on Sept. 24, 2022, to share her experience that day in a bid to gauge whether her behavior was justified or not. 

“I, Aila (26/F) was set to be a bridesmaid in my friend Deidre's (26/F) wedding. She had five bridesmaids in total including me. We met in high school and moved back to our mutual hometown area a few years later. I'm 6'1" and my nickname has always been ‘Big Bird,’ while the other girls and Diedre are about 5'4" to 5'6" or so. I have a Nikon DSLR and have always liked to casually take pictures for my social media, which I did of all of us in the time leading up to the wedding,” she began her post.

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — iStock.com/Irina Lev

Aila went on to describe what transpired after Jenny took ill.

“The day of the wedding, the paid photographer Jenny was on-site at Deidre's massive church but was sick. She said she'd eaten something that didn't agree with her, that she could power through, and she'd done Covid tests so it wasn't that, but ultimately she had to leave. Shortly after she left and before we were supposed to head toward the sanctuary, Deidre asked me to walk around the perimeter of the church to make sure that the entrances were all labeled and that no one was lost, so I did that in my dress and tennis shoes and made it back in about 15 minutes,” she wrote.

When she returned to the bride, Aila was in for quite a nasty surprise.

“By the time I got back into the bridal suite, it was nearly time to head into the foyer. As I walked in everyone was quiet and staring at me. Deidre's fiance's sister Ashley, who hadn't been sure if she could make the wedding, was there as well. Diedre said that since Jenny was gone they didn't have a wedding photographer. She wanted me to give my bridesmaid dress to Ashley and take photos with my Nikon since no one wanted to just have pictures on their iPhones,” Aila continued.

“Everybody swarmed me and started helping me out of my dress, pulling the rhinestone combs out of my hair, and Deidre took back the bridesmaid gift of the matching Tiffany bracelet we were wearing during the wedding to put on Ashley. Everyone said that this was a ‘much better plan’ and started hyping up my photography skills,” she wrote.

Taken aback by the party’s callousness, Aila responded in kind.


For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/meatbull

“This was all very rushed and I didn't have time to think, but I was immediately pretty hurt by the demand that I would be responsible for not only the wedding photography for free, but that everyone was implying that I'd make pictures look weird if I was in them and that I'd be okay with not having a seat at all or the chance to eat. I told Deidre that I wasn't a professional photographer and that I didn't know what I was doing, but she just kept saying ‘You'll do great’ and ‘I'm sure it'll be good.’ While everyone continued to get ready, I packed up all my stuff, said that I had to take it out to my car, then drove home,” Aila wrote.

Redditors expressed their dismay at the bridal party for their hurtful behavior and lauded Aila. The most popular comment read:

“You were literally uninvited to the wedding and forced into being an unpaid employee instead. The description of them ‘helping’ you out of your dress brings to mind the scene in Disney's Cinderella when her stepsisters tear her dress off and leave her in rags. I hope it didn't feel like that when they did that to you. That was just horrible!”

“This is one of those things where it was okay to ask, and it would’ve been a huge, save-the-day favor if you did it. But the fact that you were thrust into it willy-nilly and not given a choice in the matter, and the way they just completely cut you out of the bridal party … that was very unkind of them,” another user wrote.

One user had some final words of advice for Aila: “Never speak to these people again and if you want, get your dress back.” 

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/KrisCole

What do you think of the way Deidre handled the situation? Do you feel Aila was treated fairly by her friends? Let us know and pass this along to family and friends who treat you well, even in stressful situations.

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