Woman Distressed After Sister Stole Her Deceased Daughter's First And Middle Names For Her Own Baby

Nov 06, 2022 by apost team

Having a baby is a life-changing experience, and one of the aspects that expectant parents get very excited about is naming their child. Since a child's name will be with them for life, parents spend a lot of time and energy deciding on the perfect name.

But that means tensions can get heightened when we find out that other people in our lives have chosen the same name. Even if it's an accident, it can still be upsetting to some people. What's worse is when someone deliberately steals another person's baby's name — even more so if the parents are particularly close. 

Unfortunately for one woman, her baby's name was stolen — and it was by none other than her sister! The woman wrote to Reddit's AITA community in October 2022 to explain her story and ask whether she was in the wrong for getting into a heated argument with her younger sister after the latter stole the first and middle name of her baby that had died in infancy.

The woman explained the "traumatic" backstory to the entire situation that started three years earlier when she "gave birth to a little girl who only lived for 19 hours." She said she still struggled with it "to this day and the pain of her loss led to my ex-boyfriend and I splitting up as we couldn't stand to be together anymore."

She added, "Her name is not a family name, she was called Coraline with Iris as her middle name. My Ex Boyfriend and I just each picked a name we liked."

The trouble started when the woman's younger sister was set to give birth and "kept the name a secret from everyone until it was legal." The woman "didn't think twice about this until the name went online in an announcement." The name turned out to be "Iris, Coraline" — the sister had taken both of the woman's daughter's names and "just swapped the order." The woman reasoned: 

"If she'd only taken one of the names to try and honour my daughter and made a middle name I wouldn't be upset but this felt deliberate and the fact she hid it from everyone makes it even worse."

Incredibly upset, the woman went to her sister's home and confronted her about the situation. She said her sister "got offended" and told her "she'd always thought the names were beautiful and she'd swapped the order so (the woman) shouldn't be upset." She added:

"This led to an argument with shouting on both ends, finally I called her an insensitive b**** before I left and ended up crying a lot when I got home."

The aftermath of the situation was obviously not pleasant and other family members weighed in too, but unfortunately, they weren't as sensitive to the woman's plight. She explained: 

"Everyone in the family is uncomfortable with this name choice but many think I took it too far to go round to her house and start a fight when she's recovering from giving birth. Our Mother has told me that there is no changing it now and to just consider it a nice way to keep my daughters names alive but that just feels even worse to me."

The woman ended her post with: "I might be too close to all of this and it is a traumatic matter for me. Did I go too far?"

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Despite being unsure if she took things too far, the woman was soon reassured by Reddit users that she did not overreact and that she was "not the a******" in the situation. The highest-rated comment, which had over 11,000 upvotes, said:

"She expected you to react negatively, which is why she kept it secret, yet instead of asking you or tactfully telling you, she sets you up to find out on social media… after it is permanent. This is so insensitive, absurd, a cry for attention, and down right f***ed up it is ridiculous."

Another user agreed that the sister intentionally kept the news from the woman. They wrote: "She should've asked permission first of all. But hiding it until it was legal and not easily changed was 10000% deliberate." They added, "Her recovering from birth is not an excuse to not explain her heartless actions to you."

Others agreed that if the sister had chosen only one of the names and approved it with the woman it would be a different story, but the way it happened was "cruel" and intentional.

One person said they were "curious if (the sister) kept the reasoning to be so secretive from the father, too." 

Meanwhile, others pointed out the name could still be changed. Users gave examples of babies whose names were changed in the first weeks and even the first couple of months following birth. "Changing it when so young is no big deal," one person wrote.

However, if the sister doesn't end up changing the name, one Reddit user pointed out an unsettling thought:

"Imagine finding out you're named after your dead cousin who passed away in early infancy. I'd find it very creepy and bizarre."

Do you think the woman was in the wrong to get so upset about her sister choosing the names of her deceased daughter without asking her first? Have you ever heard of a similar story before? Let us know your thoughts, and pass this on so others can weigh in too.