Woman Balks After She Is Asked To Use Her Inheritance To Pay For Her Stepdaughter's College Degree

Nov 09, 2021 by apost team

Money problems are generally tricky to navigate and can be even harder to work through during relationships. One 30-year-old woman had come into a good amount of money following her father's death. He was a successful entrepreneur and planned ahead well. From the time the woman and her sister turned 18, they began receiving $2,500 a year, until they got the rest of their inheritance at the age of 30.

The woman had a lot of plans in mind on how she was going to spend the money, most of which included her husband that she had been married to for one year. He had two teenagers of his own, but they spent most of their time with their mother. The woman and her husband share the bulk of their finances and make important decisions together, aside from her inheritance as it is 100% hers.

However, her husband asked if she'd be willing to start contributing to his 16-year-old daughter's college fund. She's a good student and works hard and has her mind set on a school out of state. The woman was willing to help with some basic necessities, but not with the more expensive costs as she had already made some pretty important plans on how she wanted to spend her inheritance down the road.

This has caused some issues between the woman, her husband and his kids, resulting in her wondering if she was wrong to withhold the money for herself. She went to Reddit in August 2020 to see what advice users could offer her.

Goals For The Future

At the beginning of her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her 42-year-old husband have been married for a year, and have been together for three years total. He has a 16-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son with a disability, which requires full-time care. The teens spend most of their time with their mom.

OP's dad died when she was in high school after being sick for a long time. He planned out his finances well to distribute them to his two daughters, and the girls started receiving $2,500 a year when they turned 18. Once they turned 30, they were given access to the rest of their inheritance. OP explained that although the money is not enough to live off of, it's "substantial" and a "good safety net and an investment for the future."

OP continued:

"I've had plans for the money for a while. I want to pursue a Ph.D., which has been a long-term goal, and use the money to upgrade our home, and, my biggest goal of all, adopt a child. The rest will be split into my retirement and savings."

Although she and her husband usually share their finances, she kept her inheritance in its own bank account as it is 100% hers. She was upfront about the money when they first met and even told him how she planned on spending it. However, her husband had other plans, and asked OP if she would be willing to start contributing to his daughter's college fund.

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Using Her Inheritance

OP's stepdaughter had her eyes set on an out-of-state school, increasing the expected cost. On top of that, OP's husband and his ex hadn't been able to save a lot of money since their son had some unexpected medical expenses a few years ago. OP explained that she was willing to help pay for some basic necessities but told her husband that he should encourage his daughter to apply to in-state schools to save money. She wasn't going to spend thousands of dollars that she had planned to invest in their future.

"He's a bit irate and says I have a responsibility to her, and we're a family," OP said. She had made it clear how she planned on spending her inheritance but hated seeing her stepdaughter disappointed, so she asked Redditors for advice. 

Many users agreed that OP was right to spend her money on what she wanted to and that she wasn't obligated to use it in any other way. One user commented, "It's your money and you do NOT have a responsibility to her. Don't let him manipulate you and ruin your dreams. That's how resentment forms."

Another user shared their thoughts on what OP could do:

"In your shoes, I would furnish my stepdaughter's dorm room and if she is responsible, maybe get her a used car from an auto auction… I'm sure you will be a blessing to her parents if you really set her dorm up and provided her with toiletries to last her the first few months in college, no matter where she goes."

Do you think this woman should use her inheritance to help pay for her stepdaughter's college? Or is she right to keep it to reach her personal goals? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your friends and family, too.