Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Refusing To Give Boyfriend Code To Gem-Filled Safe ‘He Has No Reason To Open’

Jun 16, 2022 by apost team

When it comes to relationships, trusting your partner is one of the most crucial aspects of making a relationship work. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done in many cases. Still, it’s something that couples should work on if they truly want to be with their partner for the rest of their lives.

However, some cases are a bit different, such as the one presented by a United Kingdom Reddit user, @safegfthrowaway. She is a 32-year-old gemologist that spends her days at work lab testing and identifying different stones and gems. Because of this, she has developed a strong love for different gem specimens and has even purchased quite the collection.

Wanting to keep the valuables safe, the gemologist explained that she installed a very heavy-duty safe in her home that only she has the code to. However, once her boyfriend of two years moved into her house, he said that he wanted to know the code to the safe. The gemologist didn’t see a reason for this since he shouldn’t be going near her collection anyway, but her boyfriend argued that it was a matter of trust and respect since they now live together.

This has since caused a huge rift between the couple, leaving the gemologist to wonder if she should just give her boyfriend the code to her large safe. She turned to Reddit on June 11, 2022, to ask for advice, and was met with plenty of comments warning her about what her potential future could look like with her current partner.

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/Boris Jovanovic

Starting off her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) asked, “AITA for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe?” She explained that she works as a gemologist and personally owns a “large and valuable collection” of jewelry and gem specimens. She keeps these valuables in a heavy-duty safe that she had installed in her home. 

In a later edit, OP explained that the safe is bolted to the floor and wall and would most likely stay intact no matter what happens to its surroundings. “I have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports,” she added.

Recently, OP welcomed a new addition to her home. “I own my home and my boyfriend (33m) of two years recently moved in as he was renting before.” After he moved in, OP’s boyfriend quickly made himself at home and wanted to make sure that he had access to everything in the house.

“I gave him the code to the smaller safe so he could put valuables in it, but he also wants the code for my gem safe,” OP explained. “Not to put anything in it, but he says because we are living together now I should trust him and give him the code.”

She continued: 

“I’ve said no because he has no reason to open the safe as the only thing it’s used for is storing my collection, he’s safe he has no interest in my gem collection, doesn’t want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them.”

This resulted in plenty of issues for OP and her boyfriend as they argued over the reasons behind their motives. “This is a six-figure collection so I’m not being difficult over a few little gems here,” OP explained.


For Illustration Purposes Only — istockphoto.com/onurdongel

In desperate need of advice, OP turned to Redditors to ask for their help. Many users were quick to leave comments, warning OP that she should potentially rethink her relationship and that she should definitely never share the safe’s code with anyone.

One user commented: “I wouldn’t trust anybody with the code. Money does weird things to people. Even the ones you trust completely.” Another user said: “Hey OP, I can’t lie, this guy is showing some concerning behaviors. You still have the time to make it right because you’re not married and you’re not financially tied to him with children. I think you should run. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you.”

Others said that OP’s boyfriend was exhibiting plenty of red flags. One user said: “Do not ever give him the code. His attitude and demand is alarming. 🚩 for sure.” Another commented, “🚩🚩🚩🚩 He just moved in and is demanding codes and to invade all your valuables.”

Since then, OP updated her post to share some news regarding her gem collection and her relationship. She explained: “I’m sticking to my guns and I’m not giving him the code. All you lovely internet strangers are right, it’s a huge marinara flag and I’ll be telling him to pack his stuff.”

In another edit, OP shared that she moved all of her belongings from the smaller safe into her larger safe so her boyfriend wouldn’t have access to anything. Although she didn’t say what exactly, OP explained that she had a plan in place and would do another update “when this is all over.”

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) — istockphoto.com/fizkes

Do you think this woman was right to not share the code to her safe with her boyfriend, or was it a matter of distrust? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends to find out what they think, too.

Please scroll below for more stories