Why Your Wife Matters More To You Than Your Children
When Mike Berry wrote a blog explaining to the world why his wife matters more than his children, many people were quick to share their opinions about his idea that he believes all families should adopt. The blog created a lot of controversy and many were divided by his way of thinking. Some of his readers were quick to criticize his way of thinking while others thought it was inspiring and considered changing the way they thought about their own family dynamic.
He and his wife Kristen who have been married for 17 years are raising the 8 children that they have adopted. While they are kept busy with all of their children, they still are active in their community doing social work. They hope to be able to help other families live healthy lives and deal with the many problems that they may be facing.
With a time of 9 pm that they retire to bed, he gives his 2 teen daughters their first warning at 8:30. Whenever Mike tells them, "You should go to your room," they seem to always argue at least a little bit.
He lets them know that they don't have to go to sleep right away, but he and his wife need some alone time. After a hard day at work and raising their children, it's important that they have time alone together without the kids.
His teen daughters roll their eyes every single time before going to their rooms.
The couple has always followed this rule since they became parents. For the 15 years of parenthood, their kids have taken up almost all of their time. They spend most of their time with their children, but they understand that it's not healthy for their relationship to be with them 24 hours a day. Their children are a huge part of their lives and they love them very much so they are always there for them to support and help them.
Their relationship is just as important as the relationships with their children and there are many reasons that they have to keep it strong.
They were in a relationship before the children.
Before they made the decision to adopt their children, it was just the 2 of them. They were in love and spent hours talking to each other. They had started their path to becoming a family before they adopted their beautiful children. While they are happy to have their children, their marriage is still sacred and must be protected.
The cornerstone of a family is the marriage.
Children are a huge part of the family but they aren't the ones holding everything together. Your partner and you are the ones that make everything that it is. As a couple, you hold all of the responsibility for your family's success and well being. Your examples are what your children base their paths on.
Your marriage will be there after your children are grown.
One day, your children will be all grown up and leave your home. Hopefully, if all goes well your 30-year-old won't still be at home. They will have their own relationships and families that they are responsible for. After his children leave, Mike hopes that he and his wife's relationship will be just as intimate and strong as it was when they first met. Their relationship will always be the top priority.
You need to set an example.
Children learn everything from you and watch everything that you do. You are setting an example. This includes how your relationship functions. In the future, you want them to have a healthy family while maintaining the romantic relationship that inspired their marriage. While they may be children now, you are raising them to be the adults that they will someday be.
Life can get hectic and while your children need you, so does your partner.
It's good for your children to see that you love each other as it lets them know you love them too.
How do you make sure that you and your partner have time together? Do you know anyone who needs to take some time out for romance? Who comes first in your family?