Why Talking To Strangers Might Make You Happier

Jun 17, 2019 by apost team

There are many places people frequent each day that requires them to spend time around strangers. Some of these places include parks, cafes, bus stops, or a trip to the local supermarket.

For the most part, people abstain from communication in these situations because they generally believe it would be awkward for everybody involved.

Recent research, however, suggests this interaction is usually anything but awkward and uncomfortable. In fact, we are probably underestimating the positive benefits available to us by connecting with the people we encounter on a daily basis.

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For instance, have you ever had a brief conversation with a total stranger while you commute to work and both of you walked away in better spirits than when the conversation began?

Commuters in Chicago were polled regarding their preferences to sit in silence or converse with another passenger during their morning commute. The prevailing thought was that talking to other passengers would lead to an unpleasant experience.

Next, a group of the polled individuals was assigned the task of talking to a total stranger on their way to work. The individuals who talked to other passengers reported experiencing a more pleasant commute than the subjects who made their commute to work in isolation.

When polled, study participants estimated that 40 percent of passengers present during the morning commute might be willing to engage in conversation. However, the test subjects that were assigned the task of talking to another passenger all found their seatmates willing to talk to them.

This thought that other people are not interested in talking to you or will not like you is the thought that will keep you isolated from others.

Studies, however, have shown that most people underestimate how much they are liked by others after they talk to them for the first time.

Other experiments in taxis and on buses lead to a similar conclusion. More people found that connecting with strangers is a pleasant experience for them.

And the pleasant feelings were not limited to the test subjects. Another experiment set in a hospital waiting room showed that not only did the person who was encouraged to engage in a conversation enjoy the experience, but the person they chose to speak also experienced pleasant feelings.

It is understood that no one likes unwanted attention. However, it seems that reaching out to another human being just to say hello is received much better than most people realize. While not many people are willing to reach out to a complete stranger, most people will engage in conversation if approached with good intentions.

One reason for this is that talking to a stranger brings us to the realization that they have an inner life that includes thoughts, emotions, and memories just as we do.

The short-lived connections made with strangers will not be a life-transforming event but they will be capable of turning a dull or unpleasant experience into one that is enjoyable.

Humans are social by nature and are happier when connected to others. Feelings of isolation are as detrimental to the health of a human being as obesity or smoking. Positive social interaction has proven to have more impact on the happiness of a human being than the amount of money they earn.

You might mistakenly believe that extroverted individuals are the only people that can benefit from connecting with strangers. However, both introverts and extroverts have proven to be happier when they reach out to others.

But while personality types do not seem to exercise much impact on your experience after connecting with other people, your personality can shape your expectations concerning such things.

The problem with this is that expectations can be manifested in our lives. If your mind is already made up that a conversation with a stranger will be unpleasant for you, you will probably never attempt to converse with one. It is possible that you will never discover how wrong you are and keep yourself isolated from others for no reason at all.

This concept is the likely explanation to why big cities seem filled with droves of people actively attempting to ignore each other. People sit next to each other on benches in the park without ever acknowledging the existence of the other human being. The same people also walk down the street regularly without offering a smile or say hello to the people they pass.

These misunderstandings regarding the positive benefits of social interaction are not confined to encounters on public transportation. The fact is, we underestimate these positive benefits in most areas of our lives.

People who take the time to write a thank-you letter, show kindness to a person for no reason at all, or give constant compliments, often have no idea of the impact of their actions. The misconceptions we maintain regarding the benefits of social interaction often prevent us from doing things that will help ourselves and others.

To be clear, it is not necessarily a good idea for you to speak to every single person you encounter. The message is also not that you should interact with everyone who tries to interact with you.

The lesson is the next time you have the spontaneous urge to speak to a stranger or provide a helping hand to someone but fear you will not be received well, ignore the voice of doubt and reach out to them.

The research suggests the experience will be much more enjoyable than you expect and will result in a smile being placed on your face, and on the face of the person you reach out to as well.

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