Why Are Modern Relationships Falling Apart So Easily Today
Modern relationships aren't like those from a generation or two ago. The modern relationship is a lot more tenuous and people in them seem to end them at a moment's notice. At the first sign of problems, either or both parties involved seem all too willing to end the relationship. No one seems to know what makes a modern relationship so difficult to maintain or why people seem to fall in and out of love so easily. It seems like people today don't know what love is or how to love each other.
It seems like we are all quick quitters when it comes to modern relationships. We are unwilling or unable to give conditional love. We aren't willing to make the sacrifices, the compromises, or invest the time and energy it takes to make love grow and our relationships last. At the first sign of problems, we quit on the each other, give up, and walk away.
People today are not looking for love. What we want is to have thrilling, exciting experiences and lots of fun. We are not looking for someone who understands our wants and needs or a life partner with whom we can making lasting memories. We want instant gratification and someone that makes our life exciting immediately. We don't want someone that makes the boring, mundane, predictable times seem beautiful. We want non-stop fun. And when relationships no longer give us the excitement and adventure we crave, it's on to the next one.
There's no room in our fast-paced modern life for love. We want to enjoy the bright lights and party into the night. We want all the material things money can buy. We form relationships based on convenience. We don't have the space, time or patience to develop loving, lasting relationships. We have dreams to chase.
We want the emotional connection, sense of belonging, the deep knowledge of each other, and other perks of a mature relationship instantly. We don't have the time to let those things develop. Our instant messaging generation wants lucrative careers, great wealth, and loving relationships right away or we're on our way to find it somewhere else.
We are greedy social people that want many options from which to choose. We want it all. We want perfect mates and are quickly disappointed when the one we're with can't fulfill our dreams right away. So we spend a little time with a lot of people we meet rather than lots of time getting to know one person. We confuse attraction with love and bail on the relationship at the slightest provocation. We're not interested in bringing out the best in others, we're looking for the greenest pasture. And we're disappointed when no one meets our expectations.
We are shaped by modern technology. We don't need physical closeness. We have instant messaging, snapchat, video calls, and texts. We know so much about each other in advance, we're bored with each other by the time we meet. We've dug so deep into people online profiles and histories there's nothing left for them to reveal. Oversharing online chokes the life out of our relationships.
We’re too busy going everywhere and nowhere. We think settling down means to be tied down and that frightens us. We are eternal wanderers that are afraid of commitment and can't stay anywhere for too long. We are not like previous generations. We're nonconformists who have no interest in relationships. The thought of spending the rest of our life with one person never crosses our minds. We dare to be different and create our own new social norms.
We are ‘sexually liberated’ but we don't know the difference between love and sex. We have sex first then check to see if we're in love afterwards. We 'hook up' then break up. We have sex because it's easy, feels good, and fulfills our needs. But it doesn't have any meaning. It's like getting drunk. It doesn't require any loyalty. There are no sexual taboos. One night stands, friends with benefits, and open relationships are the new normal. Relationships are too complicated and we're not interested in love or exclusivity.
We’re a practical generation. Logic guides our lives. Long distance relationships don't make sense. We're too sensible to fall madly in love. We might be too sensible and logical for our own good.
We are a guarded generation. We're afraid if we love unconditionally we'll be too vulnerable. We're afraid of getting our hearts broken or getting our feelings hurt. So we build walls to protect ourselves, keep others out, and hide from love. Love is a dangerous emotion. It scares us. We guard our hearts and hide our feelings because we can't handle love.
Love is no longer sacred and relationships have no value. In our rush to mix and mingle, we get rid of the most wonderful people in our lives.
We've evolved and conquered the world. Yet we've lost the most basic and important human instinct. The ability to love one another.