When You Really Love Someone, You Take That Risk

Aug 15, 2018 by apost team

Like so many people, I had been hurt. Like so many people, I didn't really know what love was. I believed in love at first sight and all the drama we see on TV and in movies. I believed I would know immediately if it was love. I thought love was fairy tales and white wedding gowns and something other people, but not me.

I'm cautious by nature anyway. I'm prone rumination, and it often goes bad places. I imagine all the things that can go wrong, all the ways I can be hurt. So many times, I simply killed it before it could grow, before it could even take root. I turned away. I sucked the air out of the room. I gave it a dark and cold void to suffocate within.

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I told myself it was better this way. I told myself no one could love me anyway and it was better to not impose on others. I told myself I had nothing to give and wanting someone to love me just made me selfish.

And then I met you.

It wasn't love at first sight. I didn't see you as my Prince Charming. There was no thunder, so I was never thunderstruck.

You were kind and gentle and over time I gradually got to know you. Love crept in on cat's paws, quietly.

You weren't that handsome, but as I fell for you, I saw you through love's eyes. They say every bride is beautiful and I began to understand that seeing someone through the eyes of love makes them the most beautiful thing you will see all day.

I found myself craving more of you, craving time with you, craving the next step. But it was a healthy hunger, one that deepened my contentment, not like other flings I had known where feeding my hunger left me emptier than before.

Perhaps in the years that I was alone and not believing love was possible, I grew up some. Perhaps I changed over time. Or perhaps you were the puzzle piece that fits me and that was all that mattered. I'm not really sure.

But I realized I had never known love. Discovering you was discovering a flavor I didn't know existed and it's the most perfect flavor ever.

That doesn't mean you are perfect or that we don't ever argue. It doesn't mean you are smooth talking like some famous movie spy. It doesn't mean every minute is perfect.

But it does mean that I spend twenty minutes telling goodbye because I don't really want to leave. It does mean I'm happier than I've been in years. It does mean that I wonder a lot about how to make sure you are also happy, because this isn't just about me. It's about us.

When two people are both good to each other, this thing happens called love. It isn't about one person sacrificing for another. That idea keeps so many bad relationships alive, even abusive relationships where one partner tells the other "You would if you loved me."

Remember, sacrifice means to make the choice that honors something as being sacred. It can involve suffering, but that's not the point. If you see a lot of suffering happening, but not much sacredness happening, then you are getting it wrong.

I just never knew that until I knew you and we both chose to be good to each other. I thought a relationship took things from me because all the relationships before you did exactly that.

But when we come together, you plus me equals something more than the two of us. My life is better and your life is also better. It isn't one person being lessened to improve the life of another. We both live better and I never knew that could happen.

I would have never taken a chance on love had you not made it so easy. Taking a chance sounds dangerous. It sounds like a good way to get burned. But the slow way we warmed up to each other meant a series of small chances that proved we could trust each other. And it was wonderful.

It took time and patience, but it happened. It never did with any of my rushed relationships.

Did you know love could be like this? Do you know a member of the lonely hearts club who might need to hear this today? Send them this!