What Would I Do Without You?

May 28, 2018 by apost team

For every tragedy we read about, there’s a story of hope and happiness not far away. On an individual level, we each experience highs and lows throughout life, with some people experiencing them in more profound ways than others. Ironically enough, it’s in those lows that we experience the greatest clarity and really examine the meaningful elements, such as friendships.

Look at your friendships; have the people closest to you changed your life for the better? I know mine have. And, if you’re like me, you’ll find that some of these relationships have been steadfast, positive, supportive reinforcement to actively better your life and some have been betterment only because their negatives have taught you invaluable life lessons.

Dating back to high school, five friends did everything together. College, work, marriage - they all stayed in the same town and didn’t skip a week without all getting together to play. Aside from minor lows like losing a pet or breaking an ankle, life for these ladies was cookie-cutter ideal. One friend, Jo, was the last hold out for children. Following years of trying, she finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

apost.com

It wasn’t long before Jo was given devastating news. Her child would never walk, never speak, never be able to even provide the most basic of care for herself. Jo quit work to care for her growing child and take her to every specialist she could find. Jo’s lifestyle, from finances to going and coming as she pleased, changed.

At first, the friends rallied support. They’d go over to Jo’s and play board games instead of going out for expensive cocktails. They’d go to the zoo with all their kids rather than going to expensive vacations together. But, it was clear that the reality of a special needs child made them uncomfortable and that a less active lifestyle didn’t suit their tastes.

It didn’t take long before one friend after the next was busy going and doing other things that Jo couldn’t afford or bring her inseparable wheelchair-bound child. The daily phone calls became weekly, then monthly, and finally too sporadic to count. They had abandoned, excluded Jo. Isolation, loneliness, and loss of companionship plagued Jo atop all the worry she had over her handicapped daughter’s plight in life.

Jo was sitting in the park with her daughter watching the squirrels and leaves of fall scatter to the wind. Perhaps this was her lowest point because she felt akin to the tree in losing pieces of herself to the winds of life. Outside of her immediate family, she hadn’t had a meaningful conversation with anyone in months.

A child came up to her daughter, opened her tiny little immobile hand, and placed what must’ve been the last flower left of summer in her hand. “It’s not as beautiful as you, but it will do,” said the child before running back to a beaming mother. The mother eventually came over to talk with Jo. They stayed for hours learning about each other, exchanged numbers, and went on to become the best of friends. While this new friend still did things Jo and her daughter couldn’t do, she always made time for the things they could all do together.

When Jo’s daughter passed away from pneumonia, it was this friend that held Jo’s mental and physical well-being tightly in active love. The ladies she had known all her life, who were there when her precious child was born, were mere acquaintances in the crowd at her funeral. Jo went on to have other children - all healthy. She and her best friend continue to always make time for each other, both in the high lane and low lane of life.

So, you see, some relationships are good times only, but the heartbreak of them are designed to teach you that love and friendship are verbs, actions. Much as you couldn’t appreciate daylight without dark, you couldn’t appreciate the true friendships of love without all the relationships that turn out to be bystanders, acquaintances in life.

True friends do not abandon when life changes course to a more turbulent lane. No, they ride it with you. True friends show up at the right times, stay at difficult times, and soak up all the good times with you. True friends are willing to be your shadows when you’re alone, your shoulder when you need to cry, and your smile when you’re sad. True friends define family, and it’s by action, not blood.

Do you have true friend(s) in life? Shout them out and tell us your story!