To Everyone Fighting A Silent Battle, This One's For You

Oct 29, 2018 by apost team

The word “alone” can be as frightening as it is comforting. To the parent listening to the “Baby Shark” song for the thousandth time as the kids fight over the last Oreo under your feet, ‘alone’ sounds like paradise.

However, those trying to heal from the things they dare not speak about aloud view ‘alone’ as a vortex sucking them deeper into despair.

This is for those unable to speak aloud about the things they’re healing from inside. You fight your battle alone in silence. Perhaps, you feel like no one cares, understands, or could withhold blame or judgment? Maybe, you feel guilt, shame, or condemnation? Whatever the case, you’re not alone.

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After years of blogging and facing down my own demons, the silence is still always there. There’s a never-ending journey to fight and heal running parallel to that which remains unsaid. Like you, I know the feeling of sitting in silence and trying to pretend everything is and will be okay as you’re slowly and painfully dying inside. It’s madness. It’s frightening. This place of healing feels so contradictory.

Another day arrives and you awaken, fighting the same demons that kept you up the entire night before. You’re exhausted. You do it all alone. Sure, you might have a loved one, partner, or friend that offers you their shoulders and hands, but you remain silent because they can’t possibly understand the pain and battle you fight day after day.

No one is the wiser as you continue doing your best to heal alone, frightened, discouraged, and dismayed. It’s lonely. You wonder where exactly you, alone, must be if misery indeed loves company so much. You’re past misery. You’re in a place that feels indescribable and incomparable, and you’re there fighting the battle of your life.

Meetings, phone calls, work, small talk, meals go onward, and you act as though you’re okay. But, you’re not. Silence is consuming you one cell at a time, and your fear that you’ll eventually disappear without anyone ever really taking pause to notice is just another thing you remain silent about.

This blog is for you. Your silent battle isn’t in solitude. You are surrounded by others fighting in the darkness, silence mere inches from you. Reach your hand out. Do you feel them? Do you feel the rhythm of the words of this blog beneath your fingertips? You may feel alone, but never doubt that you’re not the only one trying to heal in the silence.

If this reached you, then pass it along to others in need. Want to break the silence? The comment section is all yours.