To All The Mamas Out There: You're Not Doing It Wrong, It's Really THAT Hard

Nov 14, 2018 by apost team

It’s outstanding how even the simplest of conversations can alter your entire perspective on life. For some of us, it might even be the nice words from a stranger.

Imagine leaving one of those “mommy and me” classes with your small children. One is on your hip, one is holding your hand, and one is waiting for you to pick them up from school. You’ve got a lot going on. Your toddler, while you’re trying to wrangle up the newborn into her car seat, runs away across the parking lot.

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Although you manage to grab him before he gets too far away, all without dropping your youngest baby, you fell, ripped your pants and scraped up both of your knees. This is one of those moments where you just need to sit down and have a good cry. You’re happy that your child is okay, but you feel the emotion of defeat and exhaustion.

But then it happens. A woman from the class that you hardly know comes to sit next to you. And she tells you that you’re not doing anything wrong with your parenting, it’s just THAT difficult.

At that moment, you realize that it’s not your fault. You can put in your best effort day after day, but parenting can still be messy at times. As a mother, you probably often ask yourself what you’re missing. Surely, it can’t be this hard. What am I not understanding? All of the other moms look like they have it together.

But let’s make something clear. It’s not your fault.

If you’re attempting to limit the time your children spent with screens, but don’t see another way to take a shower, call your family, or prepare dinner, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that difficult.

If you miss the love and affection from your partner but end up falling into bed alone because you’re too exhausted to consider being romantic, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that difficult.

If you spent most of your day washing, cleaning, and tidying, but you still find that your house at the end of the day is a nightmare covered in toys, clothes, and food, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that difficult.

if you have ambitions to run a marathon, but can’t find the time in the day to train or even get a good workout in, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you’ve educated yourself on newborns, talked to the doctor, and still can’t get your child to sleep through the night, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you listen to conflicting advice day after day about the best way to be a parent and get so overwhelmed that you decide to make decisions for yourself, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you stayed up all night for weeks on end preparing the decorations for your child’s first birthday party, meticulously planning every detail and making decorations, only to have to cancel it entirely because the baby got sick, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you have to add more to your to-do list than you complete, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you enjoy your career but don’t have the time or patience to put into it like you used to, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you hate your career but can’t leave because you need the benefits and money that it provides, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you love staying at home with your children but are tired of defending your choices to others, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you thought you were going to love staying at home with your children, but it’s not how you imagined it, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

If you are so in love with your children that it pains you, but you also count down the minutes until they go to bed, it’s okay. You’re not parenting wrong, it’s just that hard.

In moments where you feel like an utter failure, remember that the rooms may look at you and see the greatest mother who just wants to protect and take care of her children. Others, including your children, can see you in a better light than you’re able to see yourself.

Making time when you have children is just difficult.

Having time for your relationships when you have children is just difficult.

Having a tidy home when you have children is just difficult.

Finding time to work out when you have children is just difficult.

Making the right parenting choices when you have children is just difficult.

Having time to get anything done when you have children is just difficult.

Trying to pick the right career path when you have children is just difficult.

Sometimes it can all just be too difficult. Not because of what you’re doing wrong, but that’s just the nature of being a mother.

All that matters is that you keep parenting. Keep nurturing, keep tidying, keep loving and use your superpowers to keep going day after day. Mothering is the most difficult job on the planet, but you handle it with grace.

Ask for help or advice if you need it, be easy on yourself and know that you’re not the only one having a difficult time.

Did you relate to this article? Let us know about your experiences as a parent in the comments and show this article to other parents you know to show them that they are not alone!