This Mother-Of-Four Had Enough With Men Not Helping Around The House, And Her Rant Has Spread Online

Nov 08, 2021 by apost team

Raising children, while rewarding, is tough work that requires a lot of time and commitment from both parents. Add to that, other aspects of adulthood such as taking care of tasks in the home, and the work quickly piles up. That's why when one partner slacks off in one area, it's often very much felt by the other person.

While there's been some progress in societal attitudes towards women in the last 50+ years in parts of the world, the home is one area that is still up for debate, even in seemingly progressive societies. Since housework was seen as more of a women's job in the past, that thinking has unfortunately prevailed. However, that's not to discredit men who do help out their partners at home. But sadly, that's not always the case.

Unfortunately for one frustrated mother of four, she fell into the latter category. She told her story in a Facebook rant in 2018 and it clearly struck a chord with women everywhere, as it quickly went viral. She discussed her situation at home, the lack of help she gets from her husband and even her kids, her attempt to have them pitch in and how that quickly fell off too. Considering the response she got, it's clear she's not alone in her frustrations. Let's take a look at her story.

Hailing from Australia, Constance Hall is a blogger and mother of four. With over 1.3 million followers on Facebook, her presence is very large, which is why she got a big response from her followers when she posted a rant on Jan. 29, 2018, about how her husband and kids don't help out around the house.

Hall didn't hold back, as she began her post with:

"Recently while b***ing about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing 'preach Queen,' someone said to me 'if you want help you need to be specific... ask for it. People need lists, they aren't mind readers.'"

While that might seem like a simple solution, it had its own setbacks too. Hall continued:

"So I tried that, asking.. specifics.. 'Can you take the bin out?' 'Can you get up with the kids? I'm just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years' 'Can you go to woolies? I've done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids['] school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond.' And yeah, she was right... shit got done."

So what was the problem? Well, as anyone who's had to ask someone continually to complete a task will know, it didn't really run smoothly. Hall wrote that she was "exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging." What's more, the minute she stopped asking there was "nothing. Again."

That's when she had enough. She wrote that she came to the conclusion that it's not her partner's job to ask for help but it's also not her job to write lists. She added that they have enough jobs to do and that "teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous workload is not one of them." 

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She continued:

"Just do it. Just think about each other, what it takes to run the [damn] house. Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet? Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day? Is one of you carrying the weight?"

She ended her post with a simple and clear message:

"Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists.... All [you're] left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer.. It's not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That's your job."

Hall's post had over 353,000 reactions and was shared over 269,000 times. The comments section, which included almost exclusively women, had a lot to say on the topic. Multiple women wrote about men suddenly lacking observational skills in the household despite being very capable at their jobs. Another woman wrote:

"This whole phenomenon where men enter a monogamous relationship and suddenly regress to child-like behaviour needs to stop."

Others tried to find explanations for the problem, with one woman questioning mothers who complain about their husbands but do everything for their sons, including once they're teenagers or even adults. Meanwhile, another person thought a change in perspective was needed:

"Both individuals are equally responsible for running the home, and it should not be seen as 'helping,' but rather carrying out their responsibilities equally. No one partner should be seen as the main do-er and the other as their 'helper.'"

Another portion of commenters considered themselves very lucky, as they shared stories about how helpful their partners are at home. 

What do you think about blogger Constance Hall's rant about sharing housework? What is a solution that's worked for you in your home? Pass this on so others can weigh in with their thoughts too.