This Is Why We Can't Stand People Who Are Always Way Too Nice

Oct 23, 2018 by apost team

Have you ever known someone who you just couldn't stand, even though you had no reason to? They were friendly, polite, and always willing to help. It turns out that those positive qualities could have been at the root of your dislike. Being excessively kind can be a major factor in why we don't like someone.

Being excessively rude is a turnoff, but the exact opposite doesn't make us like people all that much either. When we're around people who are nice in ways that far exceed what we're used to, it can seem like we're perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead of being flattered by their generosity, we're left wondering what the catch is. As far as defense mechanisms go, it's not the most far-fetched. If you've ever been around a smooth-talking scam artist, you know how much they love to butter people up with flattery. Even if a person doesn't mean any harm and is just friendly by design, it can be hard to not feel like they have some sort of ulterior motive.

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Jealousy is an ugly emotion that everyone has to wrestle with. When someone is incredibly nice, your insecurities can start butting in. You might start evaluating your own personality and have trouble coming to terms with the fact that you're not as kind as you could be. The idea of anyone being as nice as you're witnessing could come across as disingenuous. If you're typically encountering people who are at least a little rude, it can be a shock to your system to meet anyone who's the least bit selfless.

When you find yourself reacting negatively to someone's presence, and the only reason is they're too kind, you need to take a step back and think about why you're viewing them that way. Could it be that you question their motives or jealousy has gotten the best of you? Knowing how these feelings generate can be very helpful. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't have your guard up. If someone is being nice in a way that signals they want something from you, steer clear. However, if someone has a friendly disposition for no reason other than being generally positive and good-natured, it's worth it to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Being nice is usually seen as a positive quality, but people who are nicer than we expect can be a bit difficult to get a handle on. Show this to any family member or friend who is having trouble dealing with anyone's niceness. They could end up with a better idea of where their distaste comes from.