This Is What It's Like To Love A Woman Who Is Used To Being On Her Own

Oct 17, 2018 by apost team

The game of cat and mouse we play in the pursuit of love can be as invigorating as it can be frustrating. But what if a mouse doesn't want to be caught? Or what if you're the mouse and the cat has no interest in running after you?

Dating an independent woman is a challenge many people find themselves backing away from, some out of cowardice and others out of complete lack of know-how. A woman who has been on her own knows how to take care of herself and doesn't seek the same type of validation as others.

There are walls she has built to protect herself, and it will be hard to figure out exactly how high they rise. And don't even think about climbing over them and catching her by surprise. Your only chance of dating an independent woman is by gaining her trust and respect. When she wants to let you in, she will.

apost.com

Where do these walls come from? There are many reasons. For a lot of women, the walls start off small, maybe waist-high, so she could guard herself but still gaze at the world with her own eyes. But after many hurts and betrayals, the walls got higher, and now she sits perched a top a watchtower, looking down on anyone who may try to penetrate her fortress through a scope.

You should never try to break her walls down. You can't blow through her personality. These walls are a part of who she is. Her love of her own company and affinity for solitude are both defining qualities and survival skills. She knows that her life has to be owned entirely by herself, and anyone who threatens to change the roles and put themselves in control will quickly be banished.

Most people won't get her. They'll say she's too cynical or untrusting. The most scorned might even say she's cold-hearted or close-minded, but she's none of those things. The truth is that she has a beautiful heart with an enormous capacity to love - but only a select few.

The worst part about dating to her is opening up to strangers. She doesn't want to go out with people she doesn't understand and who don't understand her. But what she has to realize is that the only way for someone to understand her is for her to share more of herself. She just needs to wait until the right person comes along who respects her walls and lifts their head up to project their voice to her instead of trying to plough through to the other side.

Loving her means you have to help draw her out of her shell. She has to become more comfortable with being uncomfortable. But never make her feel unsafe. Do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, and always respect her when she says no. You aren't trying to change her. Nothing about the person she truly is needs to be different. It's why you love her, after all.

But you want her to experience life in its entirety; you don't want her to watch everything from her tower and avoid things she wants just because they're too close for comfort. Show her through your actions that it's okay to trust other people. It's okay to ask for help once and a while, and it's okay to look to someone else for answers and comfort when she's scared or uncertain.

For most of her life, this woman has lived without anyone else to worry about. She has only had room in her life for herself, and making space for someone else will not be easy. If she has chosen you, never forget that honor. She is strong, but underneath it all, she is very much afraid. The last thing she wants is to be used or hurt, and having someone she lets take even a single step closer than most hurt her is an act she will deem unforgivable.

Even worse than hurting her temporarily, betraying her trust or forcing her to change for your own needs will just re-enforce the walls. You'll become another brick in the walls that guard her, and she'll move on at an even greater distance from the world.

An independent woman into that if she lets you in, you will let her down. She hates feeling vulnerable. In her experiences, vulnerability makes you weak. When you are weak, people hurt you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Some people may have even taught her that getting , is her own fault. This beautiful woman is afraid to fall into your arms because she thinks you won't catch her. She knows you may be there for a while, but only until she's "too much" for you to deal with.

If you manage to be let into her life, don't ever forget how lucky you are to be there. Loving her is a gift, and she may not be what you're used to, but she's so much more, isn't she? When she eventually falls for you too, she will fall much harder and passionately than others, because, for her, this isn't just another relationship. For her, love isn't the norm. It will take months or even years to truly get to her, but when she lets you, know that it is because she loves you, too.

Have you ever dated a girl who was used to being on her own? Or are you the girl in question? Let us know in the comments and show this article to the most independent woman you know!