This Is Probably The Reason You've Lost Friends In Adulthood

Nov 14, 2018 by apost team

Among the fondest memories of childhood would be those days spent doing things with friends. The other kids in the neighborhood or at school helped you live a fun, enjoyable life. And then, one day, the years passed and you became an adult. Making friends is not the same as it once was.

Why though? Is there any reason why making new friends is something limited to childhood? Well, for one, it's not.

Forming new friendships isn't limited to any age range. Whenever you meet new people, you gain opportunities to make new friends. Unfortunately, adults do become a little rusty with the childhood-centric concept of making friends.

Adults undermine their potential to make friends, which is quite unfortunate. Making new friends helps enrich life. Slipping into a "new friendship rut" won't do much for anyone's social and mental well-being.

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So, why do people ruin their potential to make new friends? Adults often fail to follow a formula: they meet new people, but they never follow up with them.

Adults meet new people all the time. They may make new acquaintances at the gym, at the grocery store, at professional networking events, and more. Meeting someone often sets the stage for doing something with the person.

Maybe you get invited to a BBQ or for drinks at a local hotspot. Someone could ask you to go fishing with them. Chatting isn't the beginning and end of meeting new people. Friends do things together. Friends ask people to go places.

Adults fail on the new friend front because they never actually go anywhere or take people up on their offers. Passing on hanging out isn't usually done out of an attempt to make a direct snub. Adults are busy. They have work responsibilities they cannot ignore. Family life also requires commitments. So, going out with new friends rarely becomes a top priority. Rarely can even turn into never. Making new friends becomes impossible.

People might give you a pass for turning them down once or twice. If you keep turning them down or not showing up, however, they stop asking. All this leads to making no new friends. Taking this lax approach to meeting and connecting with new people means a lot of missed opportunities.

There is one thing worse than turning people down. Telling them you will be somewhere and not showing up is an extremely ill-advised social practice. People don't appreciate flakes. Constantly reneging on someone makes the other person feel like a fool. Flaking represents ignorant behavior. The action turns people off and ruins any chances of developing a friendship.

Still, people get into the habit of continually flaking. Someone known for always being a flake probably realizing his/her behavior causes social problems. Regardless, they don't stop no-showing or canceling out.

Flaking seems associated with being untruthful. A flake isn't completely honest about his/her priorities. A flake says "Yes" to an engagement he/she doesn't consider all that important. The flake has something else in mind and another place to go.

Rather than turn down an invite, the flake says he/she will be somewhere. The flake does this even when there's no intention of actually going. Maybe it is easier to say yes, leave a conversation on an upbeat note, eventually no-show, and then hope all is forgiven or forgotten.

The flake's strategy remains a bad one. All it leads to is a bad reputation. People don't like looking the fool. Flakes make people look foolish. The approach here isn't a great way to make and keep friends. Flaking out is self-defeating. Don't embrace this behavior.

Feeling lonely and struggling to make friends aren't enjoyable situations. The best way to overcome a lack of meaningful friends involves going out and making new ones. Meeting new people must become a priority. Until it does, life won't change.

Do you need to expand your circle of friends? Let your current friends know how important they are to you by showing them this article, and get out there and show up for people when it matters!