This Is How The Death Of A Parent Affects The Human Body And Mind, Even In Adults

Oct 23, 2018 by apost team

Everyone experiences grief at some point in their lives. It is real, natural, and it's measurable. It's been proven by scientist that the death of your mother or father will alter your brain chemistry and how it functions. It can even have a effect on you physically. You may be surprised just how many things can change.

Losing someone, as close as a parent, is one very emotional thing that everyone can relate to. The fact that it happens to everyone doesn't lessen the trauma that you experience from the event. This trauma tends to affect and change lives forever. There are studies that suggest loosing a parent, as an adult, can cause you to suffer biologically and psychologically. Some could even suffer problems that become pathological.

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In the event that you know your parent is going to pass, the best scenario would be preparing for their loss, being able to say goodbye, and have a support system in place. When death is unexpected, as is common with accidents or illnesses, this may cause the adult child to remain in denial. Also, causing lingering anger issues for a long period of time. It could lead to depression issues, even PTSD if there is trauma.

There isn't any test that will show how grief is experienced. Because all brains respond in the same way to pain, there are a few constants in scientific proof.

Studies have shown an involvement of the frontal cortex, the posterior cingulate cortex, and the cerebellum brain regions during the time of grief processing.

This means that over a short amount of time, your body is certain to feel some physical distress when faced with grief. Over a longer period of time, your whole body is at risk of feeling physical distress.

A handful of studies have shown relationships between unresolved grief and cardiac events, hypertension, immune disorders, and even cancer. It isn't clear why or how grief could cause such intense conditions. There is a theory that the "flight or fight" response can cause genetic change. This sort of response can also lead to the development of cancer if going unnoticed or unchecked.

Most physical symptoms are the same and are pretty consistent among people. However, psychological symptoms are extremely unpredictable. Within 12 months after the loss of a parent, the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic has noted that it is healthy for adults to experience many different emotions.

These emotions include anger, numbness, emptiness, sadness, guilt, rage, anxiety, remorse, and regret. Withdrawing from the world, not participating in activities friends or even just talking, is also noted to be normal.

When someone is a survivor of a violent death, this will put them in a high risk of developing a disorder pertaining to grief. When an adult child has a relationship with the parent that isn't so great, the death can be twice as bad for them emotionally.

You may witness someone that acts as though they aren't hurting during this time, they are. They are pretending not to.

This is why it is less stressful for an adult child when a death is anticipated. Saying goodbye and having closure is something everyone needs. Studies have shown that young adults are affected more by parental loss than middle-aged adults.

Gender can also influence how people react to grief.

Studies suggest that daughters tend to react to grief in a more intense way than sons. Of note, men who lose their parents may even be slower to move on. This is because men tend to show emotions a lot less than women. They are also more apt to shut others out.

Because of this, the ability to process and accept grief is slowed. Studies have also shown the loss of a father is usually thought of in conjunction with the loss of commitment, vision, purpose, and belief. While the loss of a mother tense to bring out more of a natural, raw response. It's been shown that a lot of people tend to feel a greater loss when their mother passes. It's likely because of the relationship of the mother was nurturing the child and now that relationship no longer exists.

There isn't much of a difference when it comes to losing a father or a mother. The results from the amount of grief exalted were basically the same. Grieving that is complicated can exist with the loss of either parent. It really depends on the bond between the parent and child and also how deep of a relationship they had.

Grief that causes someone to completely shut down and not function in their life is pathological. Preliminary studies suggest that this can occur in around 1% of people that haven't already been diagnosed with a stress disorder and around 10% of people that have had a previous stress disorder diagnosis.

Most of the time a diagnosis will be made within three months of the death. This is due to recurring, and relentless grief reactions. This will exceed what is considered normal for the adult that is grieving. This type of grieving includes challenges in working, being around friends and family, and other normal life activities. Some adults will still function and return to work, but suffer deep inside.

They may actually be suffering from a clinical condition if they avoid reminders of the death that occurred, or deny that the parent passed. This condition is knows as Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder.

If someone grieves over a long period of time, this can really take a toll on a marriage. There has been a link found between having affairs and unresolved grief. The adult that lost their parent tends to stay in disbelief and doesn't want to accept reality. 

Because of this, they feel the need to find something new to hold on to - like a lover.

In a person who continues to have unresolved grief, this can lead to other issues such as depression and anxiety. This has been found especially true when the parent dies by suicide. Losing a parent to suicide can lead to dealing with very intense and complex emotions.

Some of the emotions they experience are anger, guilt, and abandonment along with vulnerability. A 2010 study from Johns Hopkins University shows that losing a parent to suicide influences their children to consider suicide also.

Science has yet to prove how to cope with grief in a healthy manner. Most people have some distorted thoughts pertaining to how to get over or deal with a parent's death. One belief is that the person should be perfect and the other belief is that they should have been treated better. These beliefs are complete opposites but they tend to overcome your mind once the death is involved.

When the adult child looks back on how they should've acted or treated their parent that passed, the thoughts about being perfect tend to arise. They often feel that should done more or been there more often. Because they didn't doe these things, they beat themselves up for it.

On the other side of the spectrum, when the parent passes, this can bring up the thoughts that the parent should've treated them better. This leads to resentment. It's not usually the death of the parent that is the main issue, but it's that they will never have the chance of rebuilding that relationship or even making amends. That possibility stoped existing when the parent died.

Therapy may be the only way to help someone get their lives back in order and begin to live again. Therapy is usually preserved for extreme cases. Supporting your spouse can go a very long way. Being understanding, giving them plenty of space, and simply offering to talk will help. Husbands can do wonders to simply listen to their wives. Men tend to try and fix things. This just isn't something that can be fixed in an instant and it will never be fully resolved. Time will heal wounds but the scars remain.

If your parent has passed, does this sound familiar to you? Do you think reading this article can help? Maybe you know someone that has recently lost a parent that could benefit from seeing this.