The Advantages And Disadvantages Of Being A Second-Born Or Middle Child

Dec 26, 2018 by apost team

Parents always seem to be emotionally attached to the first one child. When you think you know what you’re doing, the second child comes along and changes everything. The second child is often much more difficult than the first and very different from the beginning for many reasons.

Second or middle children often have a terrible reputation. They are looked upon as jealous and resentful of the older siblings. A study, "Birth Order and Delinquency: Evidence from Denmark and Florida", done in January of 2017 opened the eyes of many and found things that many parents should know.

Joseph Doyle, an MIT economist, along with his team studied many different families who had 2 or more children. They tried to see if the second-born got in more trouble than the other children. They found the second-born children tended to be more challenging than the others. However, they also found some other concerning things in second-children such as:

• They tend to get in trouble at school more.
• They get into more trouble with the court system.
• They are more likely to end up in prison.

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The study’s authors stated that the differences in the amount of attention given to the second or middle children played an essential role in the delinquency of the children across birth order. If you are a parent who is starting to panic, don’t worry! There are also other factors that play into it.

While the second-born children grew up with another child as a role model, first-borns had adult role models. The siblings have a significant influence on younger children. It's hard to tell if the lack of attention or the difference in role models had a more substantial impact because these both happen at the same time in children.

None of this information is carved in stone. There are many instances that parents stated the child x, y, or z is better or worse. There is another side to this hypothesis as well. Studies like, "A Review of 200 Birth-Order Studies: Lifestyle Characteristics" by a team of researchers have also shown that second or middle children have positive effects on their birth order.

Second and middle children are more likely to be in happy relationships and have more friends. According to Dr Catherine Salmon, they also tend to be more innovative at work.

Even though these children receive less attention, they also have more freedom and space to help them develop some other essential attributes. Three attributes second and middle children tend to have are:

While gambling isn’t always the best thing to do, taking risks can produce big rewards. There are many successful middle children such as Abraham Lincoln, Jennifer Lopez, and even Bill Gates. They were all risk takers and innovators.

Middle children are more open to new ideas and new knowledge. They tend to think about things in a different way than others. They have an excellent possibility for change. No single career or job is ideal for second or middle children. However, whatever career they have, they tend to think outside the box any chance they get.

When they are growing up at home, they learn to get what they need from the other siblings. This creates strong negotiation skills that can be very helpful later in life.

Second and middle children tend to be great leaders, business people, and great friends and romantic partners. They can meet other people's’ needs along with their own. It's not easy to do. You have to be able to work with people and make compromises. Middle children are great at working with others.

Second and middle borns know it's not all about them. They are aware that they have other siblings that are important. They don’t have as much pressure from parents because of this. Their parents don’t expect perfection as much from middle and second-borns. They also don’t have as much attention and praise. They keep their self-esteem in check. They don’t have the false expectation that everybody will praise you and love everything you do. Middle and second children often get criticised by other siblings and therefore know how to take an insult or constructive criticism well.

They know that when things go wrong, it doesn’t mean it's their fault. And when things go right, they know it wasn’t their genius intellect that got them there. Middle and second children get a harsh reality earlier on in life that prepares them for the future.

Are you a first-born or second-born or a middle child? What do you think about insights in this article? We would love to know your thoughts. Don't forget to invite your siblings and parents to this discussion.