The 8 Stages Of Healing After Escaping A Narcissistically Abusive Relationship

Jan 16, 2019 by apost team

Abuse is an insidious thing, especially when it comes from a narcissist. They're so good at warping your worldview that you might feel like you're emerging from a dark cave when you finally get out of that relationship.

You can recover, however, and here are the stages that you'll go through when you're on the mend.

Once you've gotten some distance from your abusive relationship, you might start to feel angry, anxious or ashamed about the way that things went down. You might hate yourself for wasting so much time on your abuser or for allowing yourself to be so dependent on them.

These feelings are perfectly natural. A lot of abuse survivors go through them. The important thing is that you don't let them derail your recovery process. Everyone feels things like sadness and anger, and learning how to deal with them through healthy coping mechanisms is part of being a well-adjusted adult.

Your progress might be slower than others because of everything that you've been through, but you can catch up with time, patience and large amounts of self-care.

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One of the strange things about being involved with a narcissist is that you become used to the world revolving around them and not yourself. Their feelings are the only ones that matter. Their opinions are the only ones that are true and correct. Their selfishness goes hand-in-hand with their abuse, and they train you to ignore your own thoughts, emotions, ideas and goals in favor of always focusing on them.

You'll need to take a deep breath and re-align your energies after escaping a narcissistic relationship. You might feel guilty for taking care of yourself, but it's important to recognize that it's the abuse warping your perspective about this. It's actually normal and healthy to focus on your own emotional well-being.

This is one of the final stages of healing after escaping a relationship with a narcissist. It's also one of the most difficult, but as with everything else on this list, it'll be worth it in the end.

What do you want to do with your life? What do you hope to accomplish? What do you hope to feel?

Living with a narcissist often involves putting aside your own plans for the future in favor of theirs. Once you're free of them, however, you can focus on yourself again. You can take your life in any direction that you want. The power is within your hands.

These are just a few of the things that you'll experience when you break up with a narcissistic abuser. It might be frightening to take those first steps towards a new life, but it'll be exhilarating as well.

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards fixing it. Deciding that you want to get better is the first step towards emotional recovery.

It won't be easy, of course. It will be a long, painful process to untangle yourself from the toxic thinking of an abusive relationship. But it'll be worth it in the end, and you can't get started until you've made the conscious decision to heal thyself. If you're still insisting that the wound doesn't exist, you won't be able to bandage it.

Your abuser might try to win you back. This is especially common with narcissists; they become so dependent on the care and validation provided by their victims that they can't live without it.

This is not your problem. There's a reason why you broke things off and are trying to get over them. Even if they're calling you or giving you gifts to try to win you over, you'll need to hold strong in your desire not to see them. Establish a firm "no-contact" rule and stick to it.

It's a whole new world when you finally escape an abusive relationship. The sky is brighter. The birds are sweeter. The wind feels nicer in your hair.

One of the most startling things about cutting ties with your abuser is when you realize just how unhappy that they made you. Without their negativity in your life, you're free to experience things like joy, generosity, and peacefulness again.

It can be so surprising that it's downright scary, but try not to shy away from these feelings. They're good. You're good. You're finding your feet after being shoved down into the dirt for so long.

While you can deal with a breakup on your own, it's always easier when you're surrounded by love and support. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family in your time of need. Even if you pushed them away while you were caught in the spiderweb of your abusive relationship, you can always make things right again.

If you don't have any loved ones nearby, you might consider joining a support group for other people like you. They won't judge you for anything that happened in your relationship because they went through the exact same things. They can also provide you with comfort, positivity and encouragement whenever you're struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A lot of people have misconceptions about forgiveness. They think that it always requires a big, dramatic gesture or lots of cathartic tears.

In the real world, however, forgiveness is more subtle. This is especially true when you're forgiving yourself rather than someone else.

Sometimes, forgiving yourself means recognizing a toxic thought process and saying, "No, I'm not going to do that." It means letting go of self-critical thoughts about what you've lost or how you've handled things in the past. Today is a new day. Enjoy it.

Do you agree? Have you ever dealt with a narcissist? Tell us what you're thinking. Do you know anyone who might need to be lifted after being in a relationship with a narcissist? Make sure you pass this on to them to let them know it will all get better soon enough.