The 11 Demisexual Traits That You May Have Without Even Realizing It

Jul 06, 2018 by apost team

Do you usually find that it is your cue to use the bathroom or change the subject when your group of friends starts talking about their latest fleeting sexual encounters? This always seems like the only time that you really can’t relate to any of them and the excitement they seem to have each time they have a brief fling with someone and rehash in great detail. It even makes you feel disgusted at times.

Instead, you find that the closer you get to people, especially your friends, the more attractive they become. You hone in on their little idiosyncrasies and find them cuter by the day. It can sometimes lead to a bit of an obsession that you have to curb every time you are around them. So, are you demisexual? Do you need that emotional attachment to someone in order to find them attractive? Here are a few demisexual traits to consider about yourself:

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These are the people that know you best, and you seem to find that very desirable about them. This develops into an emotional connection that you need in order to be aroused about another human being, and so this is why you have a disinterest in dating strangers.

That whole “touchy-feely” stage that most people go through when they first begin dating is completely lost on you. In fact, you avoid it because it does nothing to advance your sexual attraction for that person or a general desire to be around them. This is especially true if you realize that the other person needs physical interaction all the time in order to develop a connection; that is usually when you start to pull away.

Almost as soon as you were old enough to be aware of your social interaction in general, you sensed your inability to be turned on by people in the same way as most of your social circle. When they were commenting on someone’s physical attributes, you were standing there quietly in a state of detachment or puzzlement as to what they saw that you didn’t see.

Above all things physical, you need to find a kindred spirit with your significant other in order to feel any desire towards them at all. If you are lucky enough to do this, then that emotional bond has to continue to develop and become stronger for your desire to remain steadfast for that individual, so the emotional connection is your first priority from the very beginning.

In order to be aroused, you are a person that needs to be in an environment and state of mind of your choosing with all the right elements in place. It isn’t just about having sex for you, but it is more about who you are with and how you feel about them that makes everything work the way it should sexually.

You will not ever choose to stay with someone just to have physical intimacy or a sex partner. That would be something completely against your character. You also are a person who thinks about feelings first, so using someone in that way without having an emotional connection to them is something you could not live with. You would rather be alone and pleasure yourself than hurt anybody else.

It can be particularly hard for you to meet someone since you tend to not think about strangers as sexually desirable. Getting over the first hurdle of getting to know someone and begin to relate to them on an emotional level is nearly impossible at times and a complete sexual zero unless they make the first move and try to get to know you first.

The complete lack of any emotional attachment to people in an adult film leaves you completely cold when it comes to sexual desire. Where most people get turned on when they watch these type of films, you not only avoid them, but you can’t quite understand the attraction it has for other people.

Your lack of physical attraction to people without having a deep emotional connection to them has been misinterpreted by others as asexuality which is a complete lack of interest in having any kind of sexual activity. People will even go as far as to make the assumption that you are afraid of being intimate or are even assume you are a virgin. They don’t understand your need to be emotionally bound to another individual in order to feel any sexual desire.

If you are struggling to find an emotional connection to someone, you are not a person who will opt for just anyone at that moment who can satisfy your sexual needs. Strangers and one-night stands are just not an option for you. This would leave you just as empty as you were before, so you would rather find pleasure alone than feel nothing with someone you don’t have any emotional attachment to in a sexual situation.

You literally would not care if you had a partner and never had sex with them as long as your emotional connection to them was always growing, nurturing, and fulfilling. This means that you find the other person to be your most trusted friend and companion so far in your life, and physical intimacy would be welcome, but it isn’t necessary in order to keep you together and happy.

Do you see yourself in any of these traits, and if so, how do you work through them to be happy with someone else? Others would love to know.