Teen Daughter Calls Best Friend ‘Too Chubby’ For Photos & Doesn't Invite Her On Friends Trip So Her Mom Teaches Her A Lesson
Sep 13, 2023 by apost team
Raising children can be a daunting task, especially when they become teenagers. As much as parents try to control the outcome and raise kind, humble children, sometimes things don’t work out how they want for various reasons. A woman with the username Winloserepeat-908 took to Reddit to explain her ordeal on March 17, 2023. Her daughter, 18, had mistreated her best friend, and she sought advice on her response.
The woman’s ex left her before she gave birth to their daughter, Abby, and returned when the girl was five. He got 50% custody of their daughter when he returned.
“He’s been taking care of roughly 60% of Abby’s financial needs,” the woman shared. “To make up for the 5 years he wasn’t there, he spoiled her rotten no matter what I said and I think this is why she gained so much weight in her preteens and teens.”
The original poster’s (OP) daughter decided to lose weight a year before OP’s post, and she was rewarded for every goal she reached. Sometime before her mom’s post, she requested that her gifts be saved up for a birthday trip with her friends instead of the party OP promised her, and OP agreed.
Shortly before the trip, OP discovered that her daughter’s best friend, Betty, who loved trips, wasn’t invited. When she asked her daughter why her best friend wasn’t asked to come along, her daughter replied, “She is too chubby to look good in pictures.”
OP tried to reason with her daughter and remind her to be empathetic, but Abby told her, “I didn’t work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined.”
OP threatened to cancel her daughter’s trip if she didn’t apologize to her friend.
“Long story short, I insisted Abby should apologize to Betty for body shaming her and reminded her how horrible she felt when people did it to her not even more than a year ago,” she wrote. “Although I am glad she is so confident in her own skin now, it is not an excuse to put others down. She stormed off and went to her dad.”
He called and lambasted OP and claimed she was just looking for an excuse to cancel.
“He also insisted he pays extra 10% for Abby’s needs so he demands I don’t cancel,” she added.
OP reminded her daughter to apologize for her hurtful words after chastising her ex for encouraging their daughter’s bad habits.
“She didn’t,” OP reported. “Instead, she tried to get Betty to talk to me and tell me she lied about being uninvited and that she (Betty) canceled because she wasn’t feeling well. When Betty said no, she sent a ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults I can’t even write down.”
Betty then sent the screenshots to OP, who canceled the trip. Her ex couldn’t rebook the place because of a long waiting list, and OP’s spot was filled immediately, so she canceled.
“My ex and Abby think I’m an AH for canceling the vacation and my daughter is not talking to me. Some of my friends agree on my approach while others think I should have put my daughter first. So AITA?” she asked.
She also noted that her daughter’s birthday passed a day before her post, so there was no chance of rebooking the trip.
Redditors asserted that OP was in the right for trying to address her daughter’s mean behavior, although many suggested it could be too late.
“NTA Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first,” someone commented.
However, another person replied, “Unfortunately, that ship has probably sailed.”
Someone also suggested therapy.
“NTA,” they affirmed. “I hope your daughter gets the therapy she needs, as I’m guessing she’s projecting back all the terrible feelings and things that were said to her before her weight loss. Teen girls are horrible to each other, I’m sure that’s where she learned exactly how hurtful those things are. Empathy is a muscle, too.”
Another person opined, “NTA. I think it is an appropriate punishment for body shaming/bullying and this lesson can correct the importance she places on body image.”
Another person shared, “NTA. You’re a parent first, let her hate you for now. Hopefully she grows into a person who later appreciates what you did and taking the burden of the backlash in her interests.
If not, and anyone uses this to blame you - I’d think they’re part of the reason what you did didn’t help. Keep this in mind. - Sorry for unsolicited advice. I can only hope it doesn’t come to this, and all of it is temporary.”
Meanwhile, a few Redditors thought that OP must have enabled her daughter’s behavior at some point.
“YTA for giving your daughter who is a child rewards for weight loss? Her behavior of value based on weight shows she likely has developed disordered eating patterns and attitudes and this will cause her a lifetime of pain,” they lashed out.For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/gpointstudio
What are your thoughts on OP’s dilemma? Was the punishment too harsh? Do you think she might be partly responsible for her daughter’s behavior? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family.