Stop Praising A Relationship That Isn't Worthy Of You

Jan 07, 2019 by apost team

For many, it’s simply in our nature to look at things through rose-colored glasses. It’s easier and more comforting to glorify than to see things as they truly are when they’re dark and ugly. This is particularly true in relationships where time and energies have already been devoted and the after-burn of feelings may be skewing judgment.

You hold on to those few scattered good moments in an attempt to glorify, panegyrize, and exalt a relationship that in its entirety hasn’t been so great at all. In truth, it’s been a nightmare that’s left you to fight demons in the night.

You’ve been hurt in unimaginable ways by the person who should’ve loved you the most. How many nights did you spend alone, worried, crying, upset, and heartbroken over their words and deeds or lack thereof? In the quiet, you may feel like an empty vessel sinking into a deep dark abyss of loneliness and confusion.

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Just as it felt like you were about to take your last breath and submerge, however, your mind follows its instincts. Survival. See, your mind has this nifty little trick it uses for survival. It can suppress all the negative thoughts and throw a life preserver of good thoughts in an attempt to protect you from what’s overwhelming (drowning) you.

But, before you so easily don those rose-colored glasses, remember that the person left. They abandoned you in your greatest hour of need. You can choose to chase them, but should you chase someone who willingly causes you pain?

Don’t defend them or their actions. They made their choice to leave. Why fight for anyone unwilling to fight for you?

It’s mentally and physically exhausting for you. If you call upon your highest self, your reason, and innate instincts, however, you’ll clearly see that they aren’t the person behind those rose-colored glasses. They’re a quitter who never has and never will care enough to stick around for both the good and bad times.

This is how you’ll know you need to let them go. This is how you’ll know that even the sweetest of those few happy moments aren’t worth the countless times you’ve spent in agony over the relationship.

Each time you fall into the trap of reminiscing, stop to remember why the relationship ended. Was it your fault? Can you control the behaviors of anyone beyond yourself? The answers to both are no.

Remind yourself of your worth. Don’t you deserve more than yet another useless and meaningless apology? Does a random ‘but I miss you”’ or “ but love you” make up for the fact they never put those words into action and likely never will? By the way, that’s the true litmus test of love. It’s an actionable verb, not an idle thought or proclamation.

Next time you’re inclined to glorify them or rationalize that you’ll never find another, stop to remind yourself that you’re worth more than they ever have or will offer you. Keep in mind that tying yourself down this way keeps you hidden from the ones out there who truly are rosy and will give tenfold everything they receive from you.

Have you ever wanted a relationship to work so badly that you ignored all the bad and glorified all the good? Let us know in the comments and be sure to pass this on to your loved ones - there might be someone who really needs to read this.