Stay-At-Home Mom Enrages Husband When She Refuses To Do His Laundry Unless He Uses A Hamper

May 20, 2021 by apost team

Whether it comes to one’s career choices or romantic relationships, decisions in life are almost never clear-cut. Even for those of us who have solid values, firm principles and a trusty moral compass, life is full of ambiguity. It’s no wonder why, then, that we all crave a little advice from time to time. While it’s easy enough to ask a friend or a family member, the internet has offered advice-seekers a new outlet to ask for input: Reddit.

On the popular subreddit AITA, thousands of users weigh in on family and relationship disputes to determine who is in the wrong in a variety of situations. In a popular April 8 post from this year, a woman took to the subreddit to ask whether she was at fault for refusing to do her husband’s laundry. But, as is often the case with these stories, the situation was a bit more complicated than the post’s title let on.

According to the post, which came from a 37-year-old mother of three, the husband in question refused to put his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, even when it was right in front of him. Instead, he would drop his clothing on the bathroom floor or next to the bed. The caveat — or perhaps his defense — is that he works 50 hours a week while his wife, the original poster, is a stay-at-home mom. Redditors from around the country left comments speaking to whether the husband or wife was in the wrong — and there was a pretty clear consensus.

In addition to the time and effort that this stay-at-home mom has to put in to clean up after her husband and children, she also noted that it sets a bad example for her three young children.

“I have asked him many, many times to please put his clothes in the hamper. I've even put the hamper in the bathroom, but he will drop his clothes next to it,” she wrote.

“I'm trying to teach our kids to pick up after themselves, including their dirty clothes, but it's hard when he won't do it,” she added. “My solution was to get him his own hamper, and whatever clothes get left on the floor go in there. He is responsible for its contents. I will only wash the clothes that he puts in the main hamper.”

What’s more, it turns out that the Redditor’s husband went as far as insulting her after she refused to do the laundry that he didn’t put in the hamper. And this is after his wife purchased another hamper, especially for him, to make putting away his dirty clothes easier.

“He feels that since I'm at home all the time, I should just get over it and pick up his clothes, but I am not his mommy, and I don't want to,” the original poster wrote. “AITA for not doing his laundry when I don't have a job?”

The April 2021 post quickly hit the front page of the AITA subreddit, which led to more than 700 comments from fellow Redditors. The verdict? Most users agreed that the husband was in the wrong.

apost.com

“I mean, think of this hourly: he may work 50 hours a week, but I bet you that 85% of the cleaning and 95% of the childcare is more hours than 50,” one user wrote. “You're his partner, not his maid. Taking care of the house doesn't mean picking up after him like a maid.”

Other Redditors made similar comments, pointing out that just because housework isn’t paid doesn’t mean that it isn’t just as exhausting and time-consuming as a job. Unfortunately, it seems that this behavior is deeply ingrained in this man’s habits. According to the original poster, her husband learned from a young age that he isn’t responsible for housework.

“(His mother) had apologized to me for how much she coddled him growing up. But his dad never lifted a finger around the house or for his kids. His mom did all of it so he doesn't understand why I think things should be different in our house,” the original poster wrote in response to a comment.

According to UN Women, women carry out at least 2.5 times more unpaid household and care work than men, which economists say might amount to 10-39% of a country’s Gross Domestic Product. In other words, even though work at home isn’t paid or part of a traditional job, it still takes up a significant amount of time and is an integral part of a healthy economy.

As for a solution for this particular mother’s situation, one Redditor had a clever idea.

“Maybe you could get the children to teach him what to do?”

Do you agree with the Redditors? Is the husband in the wrong? Weigh in on the debate — and be sure to pass this on to friends and family members to get their input.