Sometimes Your Head Knows, But Your Heart Is Still Catching On

Sep 28, 2018 by apost team

I don’t know how they are both a part of me. My head and my heart are not on the same page. My head knows, but my heart is still figuring it out and learning. They never see eye to eye.

Everyone knows I am better off and my head agrees. However, my heart doesn’t know this yet. I realize this is for the best. There was too much sadness, there were too many fights, there was too much crying.

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My heart hasn’t given up the fight. It says I should have fought more. I should have fought harder. If this was for the best, why does it hurt so bad? How can this be for the best if I feel like I am shattered into a million pieces?

My heart is stubborn. It doesn’t want to leave. It seals you inside and won’t let you out. But my head is fighting. My head wants you gone. My head tries to pull you out, piece by piece. My heart won’t let you go.

My heart feels your loss. It feels the whole you left in my heart and want you back in to fill it. It wants you back. My head slips up. Those memories I have tried to hide slip through and I remember. I remember the happy times. My head and my heart both miss you. But missing you isn’t the same as wanting you. This is where my head and my heart disagree. My heart still wants you. My heart still needs you.

I am filled with conflict all the time because of you. I am fighting with myself all of the time. All of the time it hurts because you are gone. There is an internal battle happening all of the time. It is my head against my heart and neither of them are winning. There is no winner in this battle, in this war. I realize what I should want. I realize what I deserve. But I realize what I want. I realize who I want.

Please tell me you are battling in the same war. Who won? Was it your head or was it your heart? Tell me you hurt just as much as I am. Please tell me it was your head that decided. Tell me it wasn’t your heart.

I don’t know when or if the day will come when my head and my heart stop fighting. I can’t handle this constant war I am at with myself. My head and my heart need to agree. I am tired of the battle. I want the war to be over.

Some day, there will be peace.

It is dead silent. I think they have finally agreed. They know that it is over. They know that they both miss you. They have called a truce.

Are your head and your heart at war? How did you get them to stop fighting? Let us know, and show this article to your friends and family - you never know who might need to hear it.