Single Teacher Has Marriage Ceremony With Herself In Low-Cost Wedding Following Failed Engagement

Aug 26, 2021 by apost team

For many people all over the world, marriage is an expected part of life. It's one of the major points in one's life that many look forward to. Many women — and quite a few men as well — have very set expectations of what their special day is supposed to be like.

There is a reason why wedding planning spans a whole industry of related services: it's a topic close to the heart of many people. There are even some who consider a marriage absolutely necessary in order to be "settled" and mature in life. Those of us who do not feel any need to "settle down," as it is often called, can face questioning about this decision. Especially when you begin to grow older, singles are often confronted with well-meaning and not so well-meaning comments from friends and family about that missing ring. 

Patricia Christine, a teacher from Sydney, Australia, was one such woman.  Nearing the age of 30, Christine, 28 at the time, decided to set a statement and hopefully stop the annoying questions once and for all. She decided to do this by symbolically marrying herself. She had been previously engaged and in a relationship that had not worked out.
Following her break-up with her former fiance, Christine stayed single for eight years and never felt happier. And she learned to love herself with all her imperfections — something she hoped more women would do before looking for a partner. So she planned her self-wedding and went ahead with it in June 2020. 

Nine friends were invited for the big day. Christine had previously gone shopping for a wedding dress and a Bohemian-style wedding dress as well as a simple commitment ring. Together with her sunflowers, she certainly looked the part of a happy young bride at her wedding.

The event took place in a nature park close to Christine's home. Her friends read prepared statements about self-love and what it meant to them, after which the "bride" spoke her commitments to herself.

Her commitment vows included things such as

• "I love me despite the mistakes I have made."
• "I commit to being kind to myself and trusting in myself."
• "I commit to following my dreams no matter how big or small."

The ceremony then ended and she and her friends enjoyed a lovely picnic in the nature park.

Christine later explained the motivation behind her self-wedding and posted everything to YouTube.

"I wanted to defy societal expectations and show women that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. We search our whole lives to make a huge declaration to another but we don't do it for ourselves first."

The feedback she received for her wedding to herself was mixed. While some people lauded her decision and called it a statement to self-worth, others called it attention-seeking or arrogant.

The Mirror quotes her longer explanation she gave after the self-wedding went online:

"Society pressures us, particularly when we're nearing thirty to find someone and settle down. [...] I was in an abusive, loveless relationship and had the courage to leave instead of continuing on and pretending everything was fine. If I listened to society, I'd probably be in a loveless marriage, depressed and feeling trapped. I wanted the day to be all about self-commitment and self-worth and I wanted to show that you can be completely worthy and completely loving all by yourself."

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Christine made sure to explain that her parents were not part of the societal pressure she felt and was talking about.

"My parents haven't pushed me to get married, but I feel society puts pressure on women especially to have everything figured out at such a young age."

Christine is not the only one who seems to think so. According to studies on the subject, marriage rates have been steadily declining for several decades in many parts of the world. In the US, marriage rates have been in decline since the 1970s and have hit a record low in recorded history in recent years. More and more young people are deciding to just not get married, and if they, it is often later in life. In 2017, the average age a woman in the US would get married it was 27. And the US was far from the highest point on the chart; in Sweden, women were on average 34 years old before tying the knot.

At the same time, the number of single parents has also increased over recent years. More and more parents are not equating having children with getting married, instead choosing to live with a steady partner without getting married or even staying on their own.

However, there is also a very interesting upside to this phenomenon. In many rich countries which have declining marriage rates, the marriages that are made are lasting longer. So there may just be something to Christine's idea of respecting and loving yourself first before you look for a partner to share life with.

What do you think about Christine's decision to marry herself? Would you do something similar to make a statement or as part of a recovery journey? Pass this along and tell us what you think!