Single People Are Ditching Romance In Order To Raise Kids With Platonic Friends

Aug 19, 2021 by apost team

While the concept of a BFF — a best friend forever — is nothing new, besties Jay Guercio and Krystle Purificato have taken their friendship to the next level: marriage. But this isn’t a story of two friends who have fallen in love; rather, Guercio and Purificato are platonic spouses. They had a traditional wedding ceremony with wedding gowns and vows in November 2020, they sleep together in the same bed, they plan on sharing the same last name — and yet they also plan on dating other people for romantic fulfillment.

Guercio and Purificato have spoken openly about their platonic marriage on TikTok, where their videos have accumulated millions of views. And in other corners of the internet, such as chat rooms and Reddit, there is a small but significant number of “asexual and aromantic communities,” according to The New York Times. What’s more, mainstream news outlets are covering more and more of these aromantic and asexual marriages as they gain popularity.

Platonic marriages make sense, couples like Guercio and Purificato argue. Not only does the institution of marriage confer social and legal status to their friendship, but it also provides certain economic benefits as well.

Moreover, marriage and its connotations have shifted over time, and it therefore isn’t that unusual that the notion of what constitutes a married couple continues to evolve. In fact, Brides.com — a popular wedding-focused website that’s normally concerned with things like how to write a Best Man’s speech — even featured an article explaining the ins and outs of platonic marriage in a May 2021 piece.

“Platonic marriages are when people that are friends who are not sexually involved decide to make a commitment in marriage for life with each other,” explains Amie Leadingham, a certified relationship coach, in an interview with Brides.com.

And that is precisely what Guercio and Purificato did back in November 2020 when the platonic couple married at Greenwood Hall in East Islip, New York.

“We wanted the world to know we are each other’s go-to person in the world, and to be able to handle legal matters with the other appropriately,” Guercio, 23, told The New York Times. “We are a couple, a unit and partners for life.”

According to the New York Post, Guercio and Purificato live together in Deer Park on Long Island, New York with a 16-year-old foster child, Eddie.

These two BFFs-turned-spouses, who are both queer, first met at an LGBTQ center while they were in high school back in 2012, the Post reports. It was friendship at first sight.

“We started volunteering together, and she made me feel appreciated and cared for,” Guercio told the Post, adding that their “goals aligned so perfectly.”

As for their decision to get married, Guercio explained that it was meeting Eddie that sparked the two’s decision to move in together and tie the knot. Guercio called up Purificato, telling her that she was thinking of adopting Eddie when Purificato proposed that they do it together. Shortly thereafter, they moved in together and got married in a rather traditional ceremony with rings, gowns, vows and family members in attendance.

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Marriage, relationship expert Indigo Stray Conger explains in an interview with The Times, was originally an economic institution. Today, however, married couples are not only supposed to support each other economically but also socially and psychologically.

“Platonic marriages raise an interesting question related to what elements are most important in a marriage, and what needs partners theoretically must meet for marriages to be successful,” said Jess Carbino, a relationship expert and former employee of the dating apps Tinder and Bumble, in an interview with The Times.

Guercio and Purificato aren’t the only friends redefining what marriage is and can be. Kim Reiter, who is bisexual, nonbinary and aromantic, says she found her husband, who is aromantic and asexual, on an online dating platform. Since 2018, they have been married as platonic best friends.

“Our daily life is that of best friends: We talk and laugh a lot, watch movies, but there is almost no physical element in it,” Reiter told The Times. “Sometimes we hug or give massages to each other, and every night we have our good-night kiss, but we have separate bedrooms. We are the most important people in each other’s lives.”

Platonic marriages are legal, as marriage is simply “a voluntary, legal union of a couple as spouses,” according to Brides.com. That is to say that a marriage is valid and recognized by the state regardless of whether the union is romantic.

“Some people may not want to get married to a romantic partner,” says relationship expert Amie Leadingham, in the same article. “They want stability with a partner they trust and more flexibility in their lives. I think this is a great solution for those that fall into that category. Having someone that has your back and you can trust is a wonderful feeling."

What do you think of platonic marriages? Would you ever marry your best friend? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to get other people's opinions.