Red Skelton Shares His Recipe For The Perfect Marriage And It's Downright Hilarious
Aug 08, 2018 by apost team
Life is glorious once you find that special someone. You will have fights, arguments, and misunderstandings, but the good times often outweigh the negative. Red Skelton is now giving his advice on how to maintain a good marriage.
In fact, Red Skelton's opinions on marriage is unique and funny. Younger people may not understand the humor behind Skelton's words, but people who know Red Skelton will have a good laugh at his ideas, thoughts, and opinions.
For those unfamiliar with Red Skelton's unique comedy, a brief list of Skelton's greatest lines can be found below.
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1. "Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant. Have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays."
2. "We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas."
3. "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
4. “I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.”
5. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
6. “She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.”
7. “My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.'”
8. “She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.”
9. “She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’”
10. “Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.”
11. “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.”
12. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.”
13. “The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’”
It's been a long time since humor like this has been seen by mainstream audiences. Married couples will especially be fond of Skelton's unique humor, so be sure to let all your married friends in on some of these lines. You could even show them the article!