Positive People Still Tend To Attract Negative People. This Is Why.
Laws of attraction dictate a not-so-scientific notion that a positive person draws equally upbeat people into his/her life. Going through life with the right attitude and the proper social skills should contribute to making the right acquaintances. While being a positive person has its social benefits, don't assume the right attitude creates an invisible barrier against the wrong-minded people.
Positive people run the risk of attracting negative persons. Sometimes, the more positive a person is, the more negative hangers-on become. Why is this?
The Positive Response That Is A Negative
Imagine you have a life-long friend who acts rudely towards you. He/she storms away from a table at due to a temper tantrum over something minor. Disagreements or misunderstandings lead to the person hanging up a telephone on you. Your response to such things involves trying to be the better person. You forgive, forget, and attempt to smooth things over.
Unfortunately, the other person continues his or her rude attitude. Why would the person learn to behave? No consequences derived from his/her action. By being kind and upbeat-- and not addressing the behaviour -- you gave tactic support to obnoxiousness. A reversal in attitude won't occur. Instead, more rude behaviour becomes emboldened.
Forcing Wrongheaded People to See the Other Side -- And Failing
Being a positive person is a virtue, but don't allow a positive nature to drift into the land of submission and becoming a metaphoric doormat.
A confident person may take the opposite approach to be too supplicant. He/she may assert him/herself to try and make someone see the right side of things. Maybe you struggle with a stubborn relative who isn't doing him/herself any favours with poor decisions. Some individuals are willing to listen to -- and follow -- good advice. Others won't despite harming themselves.istockphoto.com/GMint
Positive people sometimes prescribe to the "never give up attitude," which is admirable. The attitude can serve someone well, but it must come into play judiciously. At times, giving up and walking away makes the most sense. Some people won't listen and are prone to consistent bad decisions and self-destruction.
Looking at the positive side of things and hoping to make a change may, sadly, be a delusional attitude. Cynical people may even prey on a "don't quit/good-natured" attitude. Again, there comes a time when walking away and leaving the other person to his/her chosen decisions makes better sense.
You Aren't Responsible
Everyone is responsible for his or her actions or decisions. Choosing to step in and help someone do the right thing represents a high level of caring and compassion. Don't confuse these steps with outright being responsible for someone. Kindness sometimes causes people to lose perspective about this truth. A loving attitude might even lead to assuming the life responsibilities of another person -- a huge mistake. People are responsible for themselves and their actions, period.
Keeping Negative People in Your Heart
Does divorcing yourself from daily interactions with negative people mean you no longer like them? No, this isn't the case at all. You can hold troubled friends and family close to your heart. You can maintain your compassion and empathy for them. Do so while accepting what is inside and outside your abilities.
A downbeat person must choose to change his/her attitudes. When the person doesn't do so, understand you can't force change. You can still love them for who they are, but don't assume you can captain their ship towards a better life. When they are willing to change, be there for them. Until that time, know your limitations.
If you want to help a positive person out, give them a look at these insights. Maybe they'll see things a different way afterwards.