Pizza Groundhog Seen Nonchalantly Enjoying Slice Of Pizza On Porch

May 06, 2020 by apost team

The legendary mantle of “Pizza Rat” has finally been taken. As it stands right now, the viral New York City rodent’s insatiable snacking habits have been boldly usurped by a new hungry critter’s arrival on the scene. Without further ado, it’s time for us to pave the way for Philadelphia’s very own “Pizza Groundhog.” The charmingly enthusiastic munchies of this mammal are truly deserving of the mousy nibbler’s throne. Prepare to witness a unique Brewerytown sensation in the form of this adorable pizza-chomping porch-dweller.

Imagine taking a peek through your window and seeing a groundhog standing directly against the glass while glaring back at you. If this thought isn’t disturbing enough already, then picture the fuzzy bandit feasting on a slice of pizza at the same time. This is the surreal reality that was personally faced by Pennsylvania’s Kristin Chalela Bagnell. Fortunately for the world, her first instinct was to grab her camera. Once she was alerted to the creature’s presence by her dogs, she immediately started filming. This pint-sized pal doesn’t flinch in the slightest; instead, he just keeps nonchalantly gobbling away at the crust.

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You can see from the glint in his beady black eyes that this groundhog is a pugnacious pizza hound. This little dude has a huge appetite, and he’s not afraid to chow down on fine Italian cuisine while the big dogs are attentively watching. There’s almost a hypnotic rhythm to the steady chewing motion of his diligent jowls. Each bite demonstrates effortless precision, and he seems completely free from stress despite facing multiple canines and their human companion. Perhaps this clever creature knows the impenetrable power of glass, or maybe he simply cares about pepperoni more than personal protection. He’s clearly an advanced member of his species who is slick enough to snag our delicacies, and it’s not just because his gloved paws are extra greasy right now.

This obviously isn’t his first foray into the land of pizza. He’s way too casual about the deliciously gooey cheese clenched in his leathery mittens. Thus, it’s safe to say that we clearly have an experienced pizzeria connoisseur on our hands. Still, the purposeful intent in his gaze is a sight to behold. It seems like nothing could deter his mission to consume more of that garlicky goodness. Every single bite seems more determined and methodical than the one that precedes it.

Ultimately, he partook in an uninterrupted devouring session for a very long time. According to a 6 ABC reporter’s description of his unfazed demeanor, he had “no worries” and was “not going to be rushed.” Furthermore, the local news anchor covering the story revealed, “Kristin tells us the groundhog sat there for more than an hour just casually munching away on that piece of pizza.”

The subway snacking fiend will always live in infamy. It feels like just yesterday that he stole that slice of pizza and our collective hearts with it. Can you believe it’s been five years since that mischievous squeaker tumbled down the metro station stairs? Let’s all hope he continues to spawn adorable successors with tiny appearances and gigantic appetites.

Have you ever seen a groundhog snacking on pizza? The whole world is succumbing to gut-busting laughter from this silly critter’s potentially gut-busting antics. To spread a taste of irreverent cheer, just share this goofy groundhog with your friends and family!