Photographer Criticized For Erasing The Photos She Took After Groom's Ultimatum

May 01, 2022 by apost team

Since weddings are so expensive, it’s common for couples to try to find creative and cost-effective ways to make their dream wedding as perfect as possible while still staying on budget. Sometimes that means foregoing a professional band to play, or cutting back on the number of courses served during dinner, or even asking friends and family members to pitch in and help. However, it’s important to still keep wedding guests and workers’ needs in mind while planning that special day.

A woman went to Reddit on Sept. 14, 2021, to ask the Reddit community for feedback on how she handled a situation at her friend’s wedding. She works as a dog groomer but has some photography experience so her friend asked her if she would be willing to be his wedding photographer for the day at a cheaper rate. The woman had no problem doing so and actually seemed excited at first to help make her friend’s day memorable and capture as many moments as possible.

However, the day didn’t go exactly as planned. The amateur photographer was pushed to her limits and treated unfairly as she didn’t even have time to take a break or get anything to eat or drink while attending the wedding. She decided that she had had enough. After being denied any time to relax or even get a bottle of water, the photographer decided to delete all of the beautiful wedding photos she had taken right in front of the groom. Since posting her story, the woman has gone absolutely viral, and it’s easy to see why.

Starting off her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) talked about her job as a dog groomer. “I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram, it’s ‘my thing’ if that makes sense,” she said. Even though she rarely took photos of anything other than dogs, OP agreed to help out her friend who was looking for a wedding photographer. OP said, “I told him it’s not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn’t care if they were perfect: they were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10 hour event.”

The day of the wedding finally came and OP was actually excited to take photos throughout the day, including following the bride to her appointments, driving to the ceremony location and capturing candid moments of guests mingling. It was a long day as OP started working around 11 a.m. and was set to finish around 7:30 p.m. On top of working such long hours, OP struggled to want to continue with the day since it was incredibly hot in the venue and there was no air conditioning. 

Everything seemed to just get worse and worse as she was told that she wouldn’t be allowed to sit down and eat since she needed to continue to take photographs. “In fact, they didn’t even save me a spot at any table,” she explained. “I’m getting tired and at this point kinda regretting doing this for next to nothing.” 

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OP told the groom that she needed to leave for about 20 minutes to finally get something to eat and drink, but he told her she would be denied pay if she left. She said, “With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all of the photos I took in front of him and took off saying I’m not his photographer anymore.” The photographer explained that the couple went on their honeymoon right after the wedding and haven’t been active on social media since, but plenty of their friends and family have been asking to see the wedding photos and not gotten any response. 

OP gave an explanation as to why she believes she could be wrong in this situation: “I was hired to do a job and didn’t do the job.” However, Reddit users disagreed with her. The story went viral with Reddit users eagerly commenting to tell OP that she was definitely right for handling the situation the way that she did. One user commented, “They wanted mates rates but didn’t even save you food? NTA. The dogs are much better people than these ‘friends.’” 

Another Redditor said, “...Realistically, you did nothing but follow the groom’s suggestion. Either continue being a photographer or forfeit your $250. What did the groom think that entailed?” The user added, “I would seriously reconsider this friendship.” The story continued to be shared with many people supporting OP and her actions, encouraging her to respect her self-worth and find some new friends.

After the initial debacle, OP returned to Reddit yet again with an update on the situation on Oct. 21, 2021; OP wrote: 

"Immediately after the wedding they went off for their honeymoon...The bride contacted me when they returned and asked me my side of the story. I don't know when the groom spilled the beans but he wasn't truthful about it. He told her I had camera problems and lost the photos. I told her plainly what happened and told her that while I felt guilty, it's no way to treat someone doing them a favor." 

Despite OP's previous bad experience, she decided to try and mend the relationship:

"We got to talking and I've agreed to do a reshoot for some photos later in the season...She offered me the original $250 and I agreed under the condition I bail at word one of crap from either of them."

When OP arrived on site for the makeup shoot, it unfortunately only proved that she shouldn't have given the couple a second chance. On Oct. 29, 2021, OP wrote: 

"I asked the husband if he could help me carry sandbags and he declined, saying my job is photographer, not him.

Something in me snapped and I just started loading my stuff up again and got into my car despite their protests. I remarked that when they both get married a second time, don't contact me to shoot it."

Unfortunately, despite OP's best intentions, she was disappointed yet again. However, OP did write that she learned valuable lessons from the not-so-pleasant experience:

"...I'm learning I'm really not cut out for this stuff: I need more experience, in particular dealing with clients, before I take on this kind of work because I'm quickly learning I am hating this aspect of it."

Do you think this woman was right to delete her friend’s wedding photos? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.