Partner Confronts Girlfriend Because 'She Still Hasn't Showered' After 10 Days

Oct 25, 2022 by apost team

Relationships are supposed to have open communication. But sometimes, people find it hard to open up with their partners because they don't want to get into conflict. Then again, it's always better to keep the lines open than to regret not telling the other person what the problem is or letting the conflict go on for months or even years. One woman did exactly this and openly communicated with her partner — except it did not go well.

A woman took to Reddit in December 2021 to share her experience with her girlfriend, whom she had been with for more than two years. But both of them had gone through personal problems that affected their mental health.

"My girlfriend (F20) and I (F22) have been l together for about 2 1/2 years and living together for about a year. Sadly, in our time together we have been through a lot of loss. She has lost 4 family members and I have lost 1," she said.

"That has caused a lot of grief leading to trouble in our relationship. We both struggle with mental health issues as well," she added.

But the woman pointed out that she still makes sure to maintain good personal hygiene even if she has her own personal struggles.

The woman then shared how her girlfriend stopped taking showers for nearly two weeks after they celebrated Thanksgiving.

"We celebrated Thanksgiving with both of our families on the 25th. She showered the morning of and we had a great day. But, here it is 10 days later and she still hasn't showered," she said.

So, the woman confronted her girlfriend in the best way possible to let her know about her concern. She started by asking if she was dealing with depression but she quickly reached the part where she told her girlfriend that she felt bothered by her decision not to take a shower.

"I obviously have noticed she has started to smell so I tried to approach her the nicest way possible. I asked her if she was struggling with her depression and if there was anything I could do, and she asked why I was asking. I was honest with her and told her I noticed she hasn't showered since Thanksgiving," she said.

But her girlfriend didn't take her concern nicely, so she started yelling at her as loud as she could until everyone in the building could hear what they were fighting about.

"She literally started yelling at me and I'm pretty sure our whole apartment building could hear her she was that loud," she said.

While the woman tried to explain everything, her girlfriend didn't let her speak and simply left and stopped talking to her after the incident.

"I tried explaining to her that I care about her a lot, and I was just trying to make sure she was okay. She would barely even let me get a word in. She is now at her parents' house over an hour away and is refusing to talk to me. AITA (Am I The A*****e)?"

However, the woman received mixed reactions from people on Reddit. 

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Many people pointed out that those who suffer from depression tend to avoid taking showers and that she was wrong for her direct approach in confronting her girlfriend. So, she tried to update her post and explain everything.

"Thank you everyone for all of the responses. There are so many I haven't been able to reply. But just know I've read every single one. I first want to start off by saying we are both females lol. But secondly, I am taking most of your advice to heart. I also want to add I didn't add my hygiene to make me seem 'better than her' or anything like that," she said.

She then shared that they have since talked to each other, with her girlfriend apologizing to her and telling her that she left because she felt embarrassed.

"The good news is that she finally talked to me, apologized to me, and admitted to me it was pure embarrassment which I can understand. We discussed ways she can communicate with me better when she feels embarrassment, and we talked through ways I can help her shower (which I've taken some of your guys' advice), and she loves the ideas," she said.

"I also found out about some resentment she has had towards me so that's why she blew up the way we did. All in all, we just discussed how we could communicate better," she added.

Meanwhile, the woman revealed that they agreed to attend therapy sessions together. 

"I now know how I can be a better partner for her. That's all I wanted be for her in the first place," she said. 

Do you think the woman was in the wrong for confronting her girlfriend about her concern, even if she knew the latter was struggling with depression? Let us know your thoughts, and pass this on to anyone who might be interested to read this story.