Parents Go Against Closed Adoption And Keep Birth Mom In Their Son’s Life: ‘Why Couldn't He Be Both Of Ours?’

Jan 11, 2023 by apost team

In this story from 2022, a single mother made the tough decision years ago to give up her baby for adoption when she had him at 20 years old. However, she was never really missing from her son’s life and witnessed his milestones growing up because she remained a major part of his family. 

Schauna Austin from Utah got to hold her newborn son, Riley, for only 72 hours before she had to let him go to become someone else's adopted son. Austin always knew she would be with her baby boy for a short time only since she made the conscious decision to give him up. The young mother was not ready to raise a child as she herself still needed to learn to be independent and financially capable.

In this new family, Riley became known as Steven, the son of Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger. His adoption was a closed adoption, which meant that the boy would never know of his birth parents because their records would be kept sealed.  

The closed adoption process, also known as secret adoption, has received criticism over the years as some believe it's every adopted child's human right to know his or her birth parents. A few non-profit organizations have even made it their advocacy to help adopted children find their birth mother or father. However, there are also birth mothers who prefer secrecy, as in Austin's case. 

The young mom never talked about her son to anyone and was prepared to disappear from Riley’s life forever. In fact, Austin expected there would be no communication with Riley's adoptive parents but then Chris and Jennifer made contact with her a week after they had their son. 

In an interview with CBS News, the Schoebinger couple said that they were never keen on keeping Steven's birth mother from him. 

"You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right?" Steven's adoptive dad said. "Why couldn't he be both of ours?" 

Jennifer also regarded Austin as a part of the family and decided to send pictures of their son to his birth mom every year. They also made Austin aware of Steven's milestones and achievements as a growing boy until his birth mom was ready to meet him face-to-face.

Their first memories together as mother and son had been on a fishing trip when the boy turned 7 years old. Steven learned to fish because of Austin and they have been bonding ever since. 

The boy grew up in a world full of love from his adoptive parents and his biological mother. On the other hand, Austin was just grateful to be given this rare gift to be in her son's life, even when the Schoebingers could have easily kept her out of it.

These days, Steven is married and has become a young parent in his mid-20s. Coming full circle, he also named his own son Riley as a tribute to his birth mom. 

“It felt like that name was just supposed to be in the family,” he said. 

Chris said that the story of Steven's adoption shows that when barriers are taken down, people will find love on the other side. 

"I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don't need to be."

apost.com

What did you think of Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger's decision to maintain a relationship with their son's birth mom from the very start of the adoption? If you love this story, tell your friends about it!