Parents Cut Ties With Grandparents After They Disregarded Wishes While Babysitting

May 20, 2021 by apost team

A couple cut ties with the husband’s parents after they refused to follow their wishes while babysitting. The man, 22, and his fiancee, 23, have a daughter together named Thalia. Their baby is only 9 months old, and everyone in their family absolutely adores her. Although the grandparents thought Thalia was already cute, they thought she would look even cuter with her ears pierced. The baby’s parents were completely against the idea and wanted to wait until their daughter was old enough to make her own decisions about having it done. Unfortunately, the man’s parents had something else in mind.

Although building a strong relationship with other family members is essential for children, going behind a parent's back is usually not the most effective way to do so. Children can learn to rely on their aunts, uncles and grandparents to be adult figures that they can turn to for advice and to help them build trustworthy relationships. In turn, this can help children feel more comfortable going to adults when they need help. While the grandparents in this situation were just doing what they thought was right, the parents disagreed.

The man went to Reddit in April 2021 to talk about the situation and ask for other opinions about if he should’ve handled everything differently. Even though the grandparents broke his and his partner’s trust, they took drastic measures to remedy the situation. Ultimately, his own parents went against his wishes while they babysat his daughter in April, and they have had to work on their relationship ever since.

According to Pediatrics in Review, an official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the timing of ear piercing differs from family to family. While some families get their children’s ears pierced at a young age due to their culture or tradition, others opt to wait until their children are old enough to make the choice themselves.

Pediatrics Review reported that it’s a good idea to “postpone the piercing until your child is mature enough to take care of the pierced site herself.” It’s important to keep in mind that there are both pros and cons to getting a piercing, as it’s something that needs to be treated and cared for in order to heal correctly and prevent any infections.

In the man’s Reddit post, he explained how his entire family had stepped up and showed up more to come to visit his daughter. “Everyone in our family has been coming around more to see her,” he wrote. He then mentioned the concept of having his daughter’s ears pierced. Since his fiancee’s parents had pierced her ears when she was just a baby, and she never wanted it done, the couple decided that they were going to wait until their daughter was old enough to make the decision for herself. 

“I was never into the idea of it being done as a baby when they can’t consent,” the man explained. Despite his and his partner’s reasons for not getting Thalia’s ears pierced, the man’s parents were insistent on having it done because “she’d look so cute,” as the man explained in his Reddit post. He continued to repeat himself and clearly stated that the decision was final.

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One day, the man’s parents babysat Thalia, and the Reddit user and his fiancee came home to a surprise. The grandparents had asked a friend of theirs to pierce Thalia’s ears, completely going against the parents’ wishes. Furious, the couple cut ties with the parents and avoided them. “We stopped talking to them after that for disrespecting our decision,” the man wrote. “Everyone was saying we were making a big deal, and we can’t cut them out (of) their granddaughter’s life over something like that.”

The couple rethought their actions and came to a new conclusion to address the trust issues they had with the parental grandparents. “We decided they’re only allowed to only see Thalia when one of us is around and they won’t be left alone with her,” the man wrote. He expressed how his other family members and friends still thought he was wrong for doing so, and it seemed like the grandparents were still being punished for their actions. 

“Even my fiancee’s parents think that only letting them have supervised visits is too much and they should be allowed to babysit or have Thalia at their place alone like before,” he wrote. Unfortunately, more and more people sided with the grandparents, once again making the man and his fiancee feel wrong for their responsive actions. “We’re still not wanting to change our minds on our conditions, so it’s pinning everyone against us,” he wrote.

While it can be tricky to win back someone’s trust, this man and his fiancee both struggled to forgive their baby’s grandparents for piercing her ears. Each side in the situation has been suffering the consequences and are still working on mending their relationship.

Who do you think is in the wrong in this situation: the parents or the grandparents? Let us know your thoughts, and be sure to send this to your family and friends to find out what they think, too.