Parents Are Upset That Their Daughter Who They Disowned Refuses To Provide Them Financial Assistance

May 04, 2022 by apost team

Having toxic family members can be extremely difficult to deal with and may lead to many challenges in the future. While people love and respect their family members exactly as they are, no matter what they do, others decide to put their own boundaries in place. Since everyone’s situation is different, it’s really up to the specific individual to decide which family members to include in their lives.

One woman shared her story on Reddit in April 2022 and asked for advice on whether her treatment of her parents was wrong. Unfortunately, this woman faced a lot of problems in her relationship with her parents because of her strict religious upbringing. As she became an adult and made her own decisions, she faced problems from her parents but the real problems began when she chose her career. 

The anonymous woman, also known as the OP, decided to attend college, which was met with a lot of resistance from her parents, after which she decided to pursue a fairly controversial job as an exotic dancer that allowed her to earn a substantial amount of money. This led her to drop out of college and pursue her job full time, but it also led to her parents disowning her for doing something they considered "sinful." 

The OP continued to live her life as per her wish, and almost a decade later, her parents reached out to her to ask for financial assistance. Both parents had been severely impacted by the coronavirus crisis and hoped their daughter would help. However, the OP refused to offer any assistance. 

In her Reddit post, the OP wrote, "I (28F) was raised by super religious parents. It was a fight to be able to go to a normal college and not a Christian one with weird rules. When I did that they said they will not be paying for my schooling until I 'come back to the right path.'"

She also explained how she became a stripper, "After struggling for a couple of months a friend told me that the strip club she was working at was hiring. I have been dancing my whole life and have a good figure so I was hired pretty fast." 

She shared the advantage of being a stripper in her post, "A few months in I dropped out of college because I was making serious money ( about $3k for a bad week and up to $11k for a really good one).

However, unfortunately, "When my parents found out they disowned me. The same goes for all of my extended family except for 2 cousins." This was naturally painful, but the OP did not let it affect her from continuing her work. The OP wrote that nine years later, "I own my house outright, a Tesla, don't have debt, I also own an appartement building that I rent (stripping has a short lifespan) and investments." 

While many may consider her career path to be controversial, the OP did not have any problems doing her work and had certainly become financially capable as well. However, it was at this time that her parents reached out to her. 

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The OP explained, "Apparently my father lost his business during COVID, my mom has always being a SHM, they declared bankruptcy and are really struggling (they live in an old camper). Also apparently my mom is diabetic now and my dad has always had heart problems. They wanted my help." However, the OP declined to help them. 

She said, "I don't have parents anymore. And furthermore according to their religion and church my money was earned while sinning so to use it is to damn your soul... and I really didn't want that for them." Her parents were extremely upset and distressed by her answer. She was told she was wrong by her parents as well as other members of her family, which led her to wonder if she was wrong. 

One of the top comments stated, "...OP ask yourself, if they didn't desperately need the money, would they be contacting you or even thinking about you at all? They sound like they would have been happy to continue the disownment for life if they'd been doing well. If they'd shown a little remorse or apologized for anything maybe, but this just sounds like a money grab on their part." 

The commenter then concluded, "Basically putting the fault on you for not helping them and absolving themselves of any wrongdoing. No responsibility taken. I wouldn't be giving them anything."

Most other commenters echoed the same sentiment and assured the OP that she was not wrong to refuse her parents any financial assistance. It isn't easy having to make such decisions, but it looks like the OP found support when she needed it. 

What would you have done in this situation? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to pass this on to others as well.