No Woman Can Change A Man Just By Loving Him. A Man Has To Change Himself

Have you ever found yourself in the following type of scenario?

You've been introduced to a guy who seems to be the man of your dreams. It seems like he's falling for you, too. Before you know it, you're boyfriend and girlfriend. You feel like this is a dream come true as you've never met anyone who seems to fit with you like a hand in a glove the way this guy does.

His sense of humor, his taste in books, movies, and music, all of it jives with yours in a phenomenal way. You can't see any reason why this budding romance shouldn't continue to blossom into the forever relationship you've always wanted. But when it seems like something's just too good to be true, sadly, it often is.

istockphotos.com/South_agency

As the relationship progresses, you come to the conclusion that not everything is as it seemed in the beginning. You start picking up on some habits your man has that annoy you to death. Some of those pesky little things you learn to live with and move on. But then you notice that there is some major issue in his life that you just can't seem to get past. There's this one problem that's come up that starts eating away at you to the point where you're no longer comfortable with the relationship. In fact, this one item starts looming so large in your mind that it threatens to block out all of the positive aspects of your relationship.

You find yourself thinking, "If I could just get him to change in this one area I would feel completely free to commit myself to him."

Apost.com

istockphotos.com/Tom Merton

In spite of your reservations about this serious matter, you can't seem to bring yourself to walk away from the relationship. You realize that it's very unlikely you will ever be able to change him, but you stay in the relationship because you have a faint glimmer of hope that somehow, someway, you'll be able to get through to him and he'll change. Whether it's the sheer power of your love, or your ability to mentally manipulate him, or some other tool in your emotional toolbox, you think you'll eventually find the magic wand you can wave over him and transform him into your prince charming.

As much as you may want this dream to become a reality, it simply isn't likely to ever come true. The reason is simple. You can't truly change anyone who doesn't want to change. They have to want to change themselves, and that's not something you ultimately have control over.

istockphotos.com/AndreyPopov`

You're going to end up frustrated and broken-hearted if you set your heart on changing him and it doesn't end up happening.

If he decides, on his own, without you trying to force it upon him, that he wants to make the change you've been hoping for, he'll do so in his own time. It won't happen on your timescale. In fact, it may never happen at all. We each have our own lives to live and our own choices to make. Choose wisely when it comes to your love life, and allow your head to inform your heart. If something in his life is a dealbreaker for you it's better to walk away before it gets too serious than to end up regretting it later.

What do you think about this relationship advice? Can you relate to any of these scenarios? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. Pass this story along to anyone you know who may be struggling with trying to change another person.