New Mother Devastated By Partner’s Request For Paternity Test, She Obliges But Leaves Him After He’s Proven To Be The Dad

Jan 18, 2023 by apost team

Pregnancy can be a time for joy and wonderment. But it can also bring about stresses of its own. Some soon-to-be mothers may find themselves worried about everything from the baby’s health and financially supporting a child, to even ethical questions about bringing new life into such a challenging time in the world. Those worries can be aggravated when a pregnant woman doesn’t have a sufficient amount of support around her, particularly from her loved ones, including the baby’s biological father.

One woman took to Reddit in January 2023 to recount her experience of falling pregnant and then discovering that she may not have all the support she needed through such a momentous time in her life. Her discovery that she may not be able to trust those she once thought she could, left her questioning exactly how she saw the rest of her – and her child’s – life playing out.

She began her post by explaining she was over the moon about becoming a new mother. She said: “I'm a new mom to a baby boy who is my pride and joy and though it's been a rollercoaster adjusting to taking care of a baby, the past few months have been great, tiring but great.”

However, she soon found an added source of anguish and distress in the form of her long-term partner.

“I have a bf of 3 years who is the first person relationship wise I have ever loved and I thought we were doing great as new parents but also as partners. Friday, he came home and he asked me for a paternity test,” she wrote. 

In the Reddit post uploaded on Jan. 2, 2023, the woman described how taken aback she was by her boyfriend’s request.

“Just like that, it was completely out of the blue. I was putting away the dishes and he asked for one, like he was asking what was for dinner. I'm a different race from him but our child, apart from the skin tone, is literally his mirror image from pictures I had seen of him when he was a baby,” she wrote.

She said it wasn’t so much the request that hurt her, but the fact it implied her partner didn’t trust her.

“I was stunned when he asked and his reasons were that he had to be sure he was the father, he had to have that certainty. All I remember as he was speaking is just immediately feeling pain. The man I love doesn't trust me. He would actually believe that I would f*** someone else, cheat on him, and then try to pass off another man's baby as his. I have never ever given him reason to think I would cheat on him. I have tried to be transparent and communicated and it wasn't enough. He told me he would give me time to think about this, that he wouldn't go behind my back and do this test but for our relationship to move forward, he needs to be 100% sure,” she wrote.

In the end, the woman decided she would go ahead with the test, but she would leave her boyfriend as his request had eroded the trust between them.

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She wrote: “I never cheated and would have never cheated on him. Once it's proven that he's the father, I'm ending it, leaving the same day and I am going to try my best to be a cooperative coparent with him. In the meantime, I'm coming up with my exit plan, a place to live, and a lawyer to work out a custody arrangement and court. I can't even tell my family or my friends right now because they would go nuclear and my first priority is our child. I hope the test was worth it to him.”

The Reddit community was divided on the issue.

“Honestly my guess is that he’s cheating. Partners who are cheating always start to get suspicious of their partner. Or he’s possibly hoping it’s not his because he doesn’t want to have a kid yet,” one commenter wrote.

“The woman always knows 100%, it's only fair that the same applies to the man,” another reader wrote.

Some, however, pointed to possible third parties getting into the mix.

“I’m wondering if his family got in his ear since they are different races. Specifically his mother,” one concerned reader wrote, while another said, “I’m a lawyer… this has become really common in the last 5 years. It’s really sad to see. From my experience it’s usually family members (parents and siblings, very rarely grandparents) that plant the seed for this. I have never seen a couple reunite once it’s happened.”

Lastly, one comment read: “I’m glad you are doing what is best for you. Once the test is back and you are able to leave, focus on healing and being the best mother you can be. Then go out there and find a partner who is worthy of you.”

What do you think about the woman’s decision to leave her boyfriend? Do you feel he was justified in asking for a paternity test? Let us know your thoughts, and be sure to pass this along to friends and family.