New Mom Gets Rid Of Piles Of Baby Gifts She Doesn’t Need From Her Mother-In-Law
Mar 16, 2023 by apost team
It’s natural to be swamped by gifts from friends and loved ones after giving birth. However, one woman’s mother-in-law took things too far and set off a firestorm of conflicts.
A week after giving birth, the new mom received news from her mother-in-law that she wanted to visit the baby right away and bring the infant some gifts. However, the mom told her she wouldn’t be comfortable with that as the mother-in-law lived far away and had just recovered from COVID-19. Unsatisfied with the decision, the mother-in-law decided to leave her gifts for the baby at the new mom’s doorstep, to disastrous effect.
The woman took to Reddit to get the community’s views on what she did next. Her post, which was uploaded on Mar. 9, 2021, started with the mother explaining a habit her mother-in-law had that she wasn’t too fond of.
“My (29F) husband (32M) has a stepmother (55F) called T,” she began. “T is an over-gifter and always goes over the top despite us asking to only get one or two things. Its quantity over quality, not to our tastes and rarely something we want or need. It takes a long time sorting what to donate and what to bin. Sometimes the stuff is visibly dirty from being in their house (they live in squalor.) T also has mental health issues, she can be emotionally volatile and uses her vulnerability as a weapon,” the original poster (OP) added.
“We are new parents to a week-old baby. Family has been supportive and helpful. T has been very over the top. She wants to see the baby immediately and drop off some gifts, we said we don’t feel comfortable with that (they live far away and just had covid) they were upset,” the OP recounted.
The post continued with the OP saying she and her husband awoke one day to an unexpected surprise.
“Today we get a text saying ‘baby stuff is outside.’ We find 6 huge bin bags, 3 large boxes and a bunch of smaller bags full of stuff. Looking through we find dirty, stained blankets and clothes, and other stuff we have no need or use for, they never asked us what we need,” she fumed.
In her rage, the OP sent her mother-in-law a message that explained while they were “grateful you want to provide for your grandchild,” they were genuine in asking her not to buy so many things as they didn’t “have space to store” the items. “From now on please ask what we need and get only what we have asked for so we can make sure we only have what we need,” she ended the message.
After failing to get a response, the OP wrote a second message that read:
“You have gone against our wishes and gone too far this time. We have put it all by the road and posted it to facebook as free to collect for someone who needs it. We are hurt and disappointed by your actions. You need to think about how you respect our wishes regarding (baby) in the future.”
This time, the mother-in-law responded by telling the OP she would stay away from the pair and their baby “because clearly we don’t want them in the baby’s life,” the post read.
The OP said she was later contacted by local authorities after her father-in-law filed a complaint about an “illegal dumping of waste” outside her home. Bothered by the situation, the OP asked the Reddit community if her second message to her mother-in-law had crossed the line.
The post garnered a host of responses from readers, many of whom felt the second message had been too harsh.
“I feel like the second message might have been a bit much, but this woman also truly doesn’t sound mentally healthy,” one user commented.
Another comment read, “the second message was a little much but they left literal disgusting trash as a “gift”, which you now have to deal with on top of having a newborn, so she literally just gifted you extra work and at that point I think you’re justified in saying something.”
Others voiced their concern about the mother-in-law’s mental health and said she exhibited similar tendencies to a hoarder.
“T’s behavior is dangerous hoarder behavior. … Your second text was… the reality slap that says ‘your disease is out of control and you are hurting your loved ones.’ I think T needs this ‘rock bottom’ moment. Though I think the right thing to do now is to follow up with a text or call and explain exactly that – that what she did is a sign of a mental illness, not normal generosity and THAT is why you had to put your foot down so hard,” a reader wrote.
Another reader believed the message “isn’t going to clear anything up for her or help her change. In her mind she did a really nice thing for you, even if it wasn’t EXACTLY what you asked for, and you threw it back in her face.”
After thanking the readers for their various perspectives, the OP said:
“We constantly go between trying to accept that she will never change and desperately wanting to firmly set and stick to our boundaries. The sheer amount of stuff is so stressful to deal with, we desperately want things to change.”For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/Motortion
What are your thoughts on what transpired between the new mom and her mother-in-law? Have you ever faced a similar situation? Let us know how you dealt with it, then send this on to friends and family to see what they would do in such a situation.