Neil Patrick Harris’s Husband Revealed How ‘Difficult’ Going Sober Was On Marriage As Star ‘Lost His Drinking Buddy’

Aug 07, 2025 by apost team

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka together make one of the most beloved couples in Hollywood. Burtka, 50, a renowned chef, and the “How I Met Your Mother” actor, 52, went public with their relationship in 2007 and were married in a private ceremony held in Italy in 2014. The couple welcomed their twins, Harper Grace and Gideon Scott, 14, via surrogate in 2010. 

While Harris loves cocktails, his partner has been sober for nearly nine years. In a candid interview with PEOPLE, Burtka shared insights into how his journey to sobriety had affected his marriage. The couple, married for over a decade now, navigated a challenging period when Burtka decided to become sober in 2016. In the interview, he humorously noted that Harris “lost his drinking buddy,” highlighting the adjustments they both had to make during this transition.

Luckily, Harris and Burtka still managed to enjoy each other’s company and partake in similar activities. The duo, who released a cocktail and mocktail book titled “Both Sides of the Glass,” reflected on their differing lifestyles and shared passion for entertaining. The book aimed to provide options for both drinkers and non-drinkers, inspired by their personal experiences and tastes. Burtka, a Le Cordon Bleu-trained chef, and Harris, known for his love of mixology, collaborated to create 70 recipes, 35 cocktails and 35 mocktails, organized around the four elements: fire, earth, water, and air. Their goal was to make every gathering inclusive and enjoyable for all guests, regardless of their preferences for drinking.

Harris opened up about his feelings around Burtka’s sobriety and what it meant for their marriage.

“I think a lot of self respect and respect for the other person is integral to any relationship. And so if it’s important for David that I don’t drink, I won’t,” Harris said.

“And he’s proven that it’s okay if I were to have a drink if he’s not going to. I think being able to honor each other, regardless of the social situation, is always helpful.”

Burtka also explained that, at first, it was difficult for the pair as they couldn’t drink together anymore. However, with time, Burtka and Harris realized that they could still enjoy the same things even though the former was living a sober life. Their collaboration on a cocktail and mocktail book was proof of that for them.

“Maybe in the beginning it was a little rough because, you know, (Harris) lost his drinking buddy, so it was a little difficult,” Burtka said. “But after time tells, it’s great.”

Now, the couple has reached a point where Burtka can look at the bright side of their differences and have some fun. The chef revealed:

“In fact, I love a lunchtime where I can push alcohol on (Harris) so we can go shopping afterwards. He’s more inclined to buy me things. So I’m like ‘You should have another glass, your second glass of wine!’”

Ultimately, Burtka cared more about the fun that he and Harris had rather than their different lifestyles when it came to alcohol. This made their relationship even more special. 

“At the end of the day, it's all about laughter for me,” Burtka said. “We really do have fun.”

apost.com

What do you think of this? Can you still have fun with your partner despite having different interests? Let us know what you think, and afterward, don’t forget to pass this on to your friends, loved ones, and any fans of David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris you know!