Motherhood Taught Me Who My Real Friends Are

Apr 01, 2019 by apost team

Before you become a mother, your friendships look different. You probably surround yourself with people that have the same interests and are at similar places in life as you. They’re also a reflection of yourself. Most people who are young and don’t have children yet are social butterflies. This often means that your friend group is large. You can always rely on all of these people to go out with you for the night, have a spontaneous vacation, or go shopping. Whenever you call one of these friends, they’re ready to go out with you on short notice. You likely made friends every single place you went and were able to bond with just about anyone over similarities that the two of you share.

Although when you’re young it’s hard to analyze your friendships clearly, looking back you can tell how things have changed. The friends you keep at a certain time period can show you exactly what your priorities were like at that point in life. Looking back before having children, your priorities were most likely living life to its fullest and making sure that every moment was filled with tons of fun and excitement. And when you’re just taking care of yourself, these priorities make sense. But once you become pregnant, you sense a change in your relationships.

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Other than a few childhood friends, you probably realized that once you were going to become a mother, many of your friends disappeared. Maybe they should never have been called friends at all. While you watch them continue going on exciting and spontaneous adventures, your life is changing and you're working on maturing. Through your pregnancy sickness and exhaustion, they aren’t there for you anymore.

You notice that you’re slowly being exiled from the group of exciting partiers. Your invitations dwindle and phone calls and texts get rarer. But it’s really a blessing in disguise, because through it all, you can see your real friendships. The ones that will last forever. The ones that will stick through your side through anything, even pregnancy. And these are the friendships that matter.

This is the period of your life when you realize that maybe not every friendship is built to last. It’s more important to appreciate those that will stay by your side through any struggle or situation. When you reach a certain point in your pregnancy, the type of friends that you want surrounding you are those that can understand your situation. Jet-setting is no longer a priority, and gossiping becomes a thing of the past. You begin to be more selective about who you want to have around you and the child you’re about to give birth to.

All humans have natural instants that make them want to be connected with others through similarities. Once our priorities change with our pregnancy, it’s normal that our friendships do too. Mothers need other mothers around them that are willing to help them with tips and advice. Having these friendships with others that are at similar places in life can make things so much smoother and relaxed.

You may notice that your friendships become few and far between, but the ones that last are worth it. It’s a quality over quantity type of situation. The women you have around you now are amazing, strong, and empathetic. They’re more than your friends. They’re family. They always cry with you, laugh with you, and support you through anything.

They’ll always call you just to see how you’re doing. They’ll pop in with a coffee when they know you’re exhausted. They’ll make playdates when they know you need a break. They’ll always make spending time with you a priority even though their lives are so busy. They’ll share stories about parenting with you, even if they admit they’re struggling. These women will understand you no matter what you go through in your new life as a mother. And if you look back, you’ll realize that pregnancy showed you just who your true friends are.

Have you experienced a similar shift in your friendships when you became pregnant? Has your motherhood helped you realize who your real friends are? Let us know in the comments and be sure to pass this article along to all those special friends who stuck with you through thick and thin!