Motherhood Helped Teach Me Who My Real Friends Are

Apr 05, 2019 by apost team

Before I became I a mom, my friends were pretty reflective of exactly what I was. My friends and I were in our early 20’s, playing it up all the time. The words party and play described every ounce of what we stood for.

My friends consisted of a large group in which we could get together in no time for trips or anything that would’ve been of interest to our young hearts. Making new friends wasn’t an issue either. I could find something in common with any girl out there.

I didn’t really care to worry or even think about what my friendships were based on back then. I was having a good time and that’s all that mattered to me. Which, that should’ve been an indication of what those friendships were made of but as I said, I didn’t notice back then.

It makes a lot of sense now that I look back on things. At that time in my life, I was only responsible for me and that was fine at the time. It wasn’t until I became pregnant that things in those friendships began to change.

A lot of those “friends” didn’t fit the description of an actual friend. With that being said, my childhood bestie remained by my side as she always had.

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My other “friends” kept their lives going with their last-minute trips and partying all the time. This was all while I was at home feeling very ill from morning sickness or just plain exhausted from being pregnant.

After a little time, they stopped inviting me on those trips and soon the calls and text from them slowed way down. This was when I clearly began to see my true friendships come into light.

This is when my true friends stood by my side through thick and thin and let me know they were there for me and truly loved me like they said they did.

When I first became a mom, most of my time consisted of doing everything that I needed to do for my baby. This meant there wasn’t much time for me or anyone else for that matter. My priorities shifted and the things I used to long for completely changed. I couldn’t even relate to the “friends” I used to spend so much time with.

I used to be one of the first to start drama. Now the thought of drama repulsed me. I couldn’t stand small talk or anything that wasted my time. I now only wanted people in my circle that I truly cared for and wanted to spend actual time with me and my family.

I wanted so badly to be able to talk with another mom just to be able to ask if the things I was feeling was normal, without the feeling of being judged. I wanted to talk with someone who truly understood the things I was feeling.

I needed to talk with others that were experiencing the same things as I did. I knew this would help me not to feel so isolated. I needed to feel normal. I need to be validated. Now, the friendships that I do have mean more to me than any I have ever had before. I may not have many friends but the friendships I do have are so meaningful.

The women I call my friends now are much more than that. We can laugh and cry with each other. We have no problems supporting one another.

They call and text me just to check in on me and my family. They bring me a coffee because they know it’s something I like. They care about me and organize playdates and other activities so I can have some time to myself.

They make our time important and schedule times when we can be together and build our friendships even deeper.

They have no problem supporting anyone in our little group who is hurting. They share their lives with me in entirety. They want me to know when they are happy, sad, emotional or struggling.

These are the women that inspire me. They give me advice and guide me beyond belief. They have gone through the same things that I have and endured the same experiences. They understand all of the crazy and overwhelming challenges that come along with raising a child. They understand when I forget to respond to a text or call, or when I am too tired to show up to walk laps.

These lovely women are my family and they have shown me what true friendship really looks like.

Have you experienced something similar with your friendships dwindling down over the years? Or, maybe you have went through raising a child and still have the same friends. Let us know your experience in the comments below.

Are you a mother? Could you identify with this article? Be sure and send it on to all of your true friends. Let them know that this is how you feel about them!