Mother With Doctorate In Child Development Tells Of Nine 'Crazy' Tips She Does Which Could Help Parents

Sep 09, 2021 by apost team

Parenting has its fair share of ups and down, but it’s ultimately just as rewarding as it is challenging. Many parents want to make sure they’re doing everything they possibly can to ensure that their children have the best lives possible. For new parents, facing new challenges can be extremely stressful at times, resulting in them looking for advice on how to best handle any situation thrown their way. Some turn to books or blogs filled with helpful parenting tips, while others talk with their friends and family members who have children to hear what advice they may have. Whatever the source is, it’s never a bad idea or too late to get some extra advice from someone you trust. 

Dr. Kristyn Sommer, a mother with a PhD in child development, shared some of her personal parenting tips on TikTok that may seem a bit unconventional but could be extremely useful to parents who need a little extra help. Here are nine of Sommer’s most useful parenting tips.

1. Never Call Your Child ‘Naughty’ Or ‘Bad’

Sommer explained that she never calls her daughter “naughty” or “bad,” no matter what type of behavior she’s exhibiting. The mom reasoned that it’s important to not make children feel like their entire behavioral stance is determined by one negative action. Instead, she asks her daughter if she thinks the decisions she’s making are good or bad, so the child is able to identify poor behavior on her own.

2. Teach Children Right From Wrong

While most parents teach their children to learn the difference between good and bad, Sommer explained that there is a proper way to discipline kids so they actually learn this. Going off her idea of asking children to identify if their decisions are good or bad, Sommer feels that this is the best way to help children understand what makes something right and what makes something wrong. She also gives her daughter ideas on how to make better choices if she’s still confused.

3. Don’t Sleep Train

This mom doesn’t sleep train her child. She said that children “understand that if you don’t come for them when they’re crying, they believe that you’ll never come for them (at night).” This is why children eventually learn to stop crying at night and find a way to go to sleep by themselves. She also mentions not using set bedtimes: “I don't give my kid a bedtime." According to her, children know when they are tired and will sleep accordingly.

4. How To Handle Tantrums

Upworthy reported that most people consider tantrums bad behavior, but they are actually a combination of many small stresses the child has experienced throughout their day. It’s normal for kids to sometimes be overwhelmed by their emotions. In fact, Sommer said that tantrums are a “healthy expression of emotions.” She advised parents to support their children and help them identify the emotions they’re feeling so they’re able to overcome them.

5. It’s OK To Be A Lazy Parent

While everyone’s definition of lazy is different, Sommer defined her version of lazy parenting as watching her child, but not getting too involved. What she means by this is that she observes her child and does what is necessary without overstepping any boundaries or constantly putting herself in the middle of her child’s business.

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6. Let Your Kid Get Messy

Not only is Sommer perfectly OK with her daughter getting messy, but she actually encourages it. “Messy sensory play is really good for children’s development,” she said. “It’s great for cognitive development and it helps develop and enhance memory and encourages language development, particularly abstract concepts.”

7. Don’t Speak To Them Like They’re Babies

Rather than repeating the silly or adorable ways her daughter says words, Sommer will say the word correctly when repeating it back to the child. “I slow down my speech, I elongate my sounds, I enunciate my words,” Sommer said, explaining how she speaks to her young daughter. Children sometimes say words incorrectly while attempting to say them right, so it’s best to keep teaching them the proper way to pronounce the words rather than reaffirm their errors.

8. Don’t Spank Your Child

Sommer has made her stance on “spanking, corporal punishment, physical punishment” clear: don’t do it. It has little effect on behavior and can even lead to aggression, mental health issues and antisocial tendencies down the line.

9. Let Kids Play

Rather than focusing on teaching her toddler the alphabet or how to count, Sommer helps her daughter learn by giving her ample time to play. The mom explained that the former “doesn’t really help them with anything,” and that play-time is typically when kids learn best. Some kids may also experience burn-out if they spend too much time studying and not even time expressing themselves and playing.

She also mentions trusting kids with themselves and their surroundings as they grow up. "I still did it safely. We don't have a baby gate on the stairs, but we used to."

What do you think about this mom’s tips? Will you be trying any of them? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to any parent you know!