Mother-In-Law Secretly Changed Grandson's Name While New Mom Recuperated From C-Section
Navigating relations with your mother-in-law can be tough. Even if you've known her for years, getting married to her son immediately changes your relationship. This is even more true if you decide to have kids. You're no longer just the person who married her son. You're the mother of her grandchildren.
From the second you announce the pregnancy, you'll be in for a whole new relationship. One new mom found herself in an entirely unexpected place after her son was born. While we've all had our tough mother-in-law stories, this one probably tops tops them all. Or comes close.
Even before you get pregnant, chances are you're picking out a name. You might have a name in mind already that you've thought about long before you got pregnant. You've also probably taken them to discuss your choice in names with your partner.
Chances are, as the day of labor and delivery approaches you've settled on every single name you want. You've also decided on the kind of spelling you want. For one new mom who shared her experience with the Care and Feeding section at slate.com, it wasn't that simple. Not only did her mother-in-law change the spelling of her son's name, but her husband also didn't even tell until she found out two months later.
The new mom gave birth to her son via C-Section. As she was sleeping after, what is, after all, major difficult surgery, she would later learn that her mother-in-law let her son know exactly how much she hated the name she'd so lovingly chosen.
Instead of admiring her daughter for having survived a hard birth and given her and her son a new life, his mom apparently went on a rant about how much he needed to change the name they'd agreed upon. As she lives several states away, her anger was solely by phone, not in person. Nevertheless, it was apparently enough to convince her husband to do something he should not have done to his son against the wishes of his wife.
The woman wrote, 'She manipulated my husband into thinking it was all right to lie to me about something as serious as the spelling of our son’s name.'
Her spouse apparently listened to his mom's rant. Rather than stand up for his wife and praise her to his own mom, he chose another route. Apparently dear old mom in law absolutely hated their first name choice. She also loathed the middle name they'd lovingly picked out.
Her spouse had the backbone to step up and tell her they would keep the first name. Unfortunately, he heard her other concerns. As she was literally sleeping off the effects of having given birth, he agreed to change the spelling of their son's middle name.istockphoto.com/NataliaDeriabina
They'd agreed upon Finley with that spelling. Her spouse chose to override their joint decision. He had the child's middle name changed to Finlay instead. This despite the fact that she was only fine with the name Finley as long as it was spelled the way they had agreed to before the baby was born.
The mom did not find out about this change until she looked closely at her son's legal documents. It was then she realized what had happened right under her nose and against her consent.istockphotos.com/monkeybusinessimages
Her mother-in-law rubbed this in her face when she sent the new mom and her new grandson a Christmas gift. The gift had the new spelling for the middle name on it. It was then that she learned the real truth. At that point, she spoke to her husband directly.
After a few questions, he sheepishly revealed what had happened, when it had taken place and the kind of conversation he'd had with his mom as she was sleeping.istockphoto.com/JackF
In the meantime, she's left wondering what to do next. She understandably feels betrayed. She is left to think about what to say to her mother-in-law. She's also furious at her husband for his failure to defend to their agreed upon choices to his own mom. After having it out with her husband, she's found a way to work out her feelings of betrayal.
She's also going to her son's legal documents changed back to their original, agreed upon spelling. The new mom is trying to figure out how best to approach his mom without blowing up completely and losing her temper. She has also come to the realization that she doesn't want to have any kind of relationship with this person even if she is her husband's closest relative. She's not all that interested in playing nice.istockphotos.com/Orbon Alija
Reactions to her decision to share her experience have been mixed. Many people understand her fury and agree with her fury. It's not exactly a good idea to begin parenting with your significant other and go back on the promises you made together.
Some people thought the issue minor and urged her to let it go. After all, it's just a single letter. Others found her spouse's actions inexcusable and felt the same way about her mother-in-law. Many wondered why her spouse refused to stand up for her during this conversation.istockphoto.com/AndreyPopov
However, it was the advice columnist she wrote to who perhaps agreed most with her stance. She urged the woman not to be afraid to confront her husband. Indeed, she said she would personally think very closely about his actions and realize this could be the first steps towards a divorce.
She told the person writing to her that she needed to get a full apology for his actions as soon as possible. She would also bring it up to her mother-in-law and let it drop, leaving the woman forever wondering what was coming next.istockphotos.com/PredragImages
If you'd had a similar experience or you think your mother-in-law would do the same thing, chime in with your own stories in the comments section below and pass this story on.