Mother Denies Son-In-Law Money For Heart Surgery Because Adopted Daughter Chose Bio Family Over Her

Nov 10, 2021 by apost team

When an adopted child chooses to meet and form a relationship with their biological family, it can create tension for the adoptive family and sometimes breed jealousy. Matters become even more complicated when money is added to the mix. This can make the situation more difficult to reconcile and communication can begin to break down.

One woman posted a story on Reddit that explained that her adopted daughter had been spending more time with her biological family and neglecting the parents that raised her. Then the daughter and her adopted mom got into an argument over the situation and the daughter said that her biological family's love is greater and more natural. She then cut off communication with her adoptive mom. 

This was until she found out her husband needed money for heart surgery. After that, she tried to rekindle a relationship with her adoptive family by seeking sympathy and eventually asked her mother to sell a piece of land that was being saved to pay for her brother's college education. After the mom said no and told her to ask her biological family for money, the daughter claimed that her love was conditional and cut off contact again.

This situation has left the adoptive mother wondering if she went too far. She posted her story on Reddit to ask users if she was wrong for denying her son-in-law the money he needs for his life-saving heart surgery because of her daughter's actions. Keep reading to see what others had to say about this dilemma.  

The mother explains at the beginning of her post that she was initially supportive of her daughter's choice to find her biological family. "I never went against her decision to have her bio family in her life. I've always encouraged her to give them a chance, especially her bio mom. But I noticed I was being gradually pushed to the side. Not just me but the family too," she wrote.

After looking at her daughter's online profile, the mom discovered that she was spending a lot of time with her biological family. The mother wrote: "I figured she was busy being a mom and she confirmed that but her Facebook page showed me otherwise. There were tons of pictures of her visiting her bio family and tons of pictures with my grandson. I realized she was making excuses to skip family time with us to be with her bio family more."

She confronted her daughter and the situation only seemed to get worse. The mom explained, "We had one big argument and she never spoke again after she said no matter how much love and eagerness we show her, her bio family's love is greater and more natural." 

The daughter asked for money for her husband's surgery but the mom already had plans for the funds. She said, "I said I was sorry but that will go to her brother who sees me and her dad as his parents and isn't willing to replace us like she did and told her to go ask her bio family for the money. She was shocked and said that she couldn't believe how conditional my love for her was and that I care more about being petty than my grandson's future with both parents, not a widowed mother."

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The Reddit post has over a thousand comments and not everyone agreed on what should be done. One commenter wrote:

"This is a tough situation all around. It does seem like your daughter has prioritized her bio family over you and now is only coming for money. That money is for your son and you have responsibilities to him also. Your daughter could take on debt if she really felt an LVAD would do that much to help her husband instead of transferring a debt load to your son by taking his college money." 

Another user said, "'Bio family's love is greater and more natural.' Then why did it take them 20+ years to be part of her family? Or you know, from the start? She has emotional issues that only she can get over with and she's being ungrateful and manipulative."

They added, "She should realize that, unlike her bio family, YOU decided to raise her, YOU were there when her bio family wasn't there. If she doesn't appreciate all you've done and now you're only a money source then as much as it sucks you shouldn't give her the money. You have other family members that need it."

Others felt that they would give the daughter the money, if able, because it may be what saves the relationship. A different person shared, "Personally, I can say I would cover my grandson's dad's surgery if I could do so without hardship, and work on things with your daughter after. I don't think there's a hope of salvaging this relationship if you don't."

Do you think the mother was wrong for what she said? What would you do in this situation? Let us know and feel free to send this along to your friends and family.