Mother Charges Her 17-Year-Old Daughter Over $16k Per Year In Order To Fund Her 18-Year-Old Son's University And Receives Backlash Online

Aug 10, 2021 by apost team

Every parent wants to do right by their children, and sometimes that means making difficult decisions that the kids may not understand. In May 2021, a mother posted on the parenting forum, Mumsnet, that she had been charging her daughter, 17, room and board but not her 18-year-old son. The mom explained that her daughter has an apprenticeship, and she takes 25% of her wages for rent and food but pays her son's rent because he is at University.

The mother wrote in her post that due to the circumstances they are effectively taking money from their daughter to pay for their son's education. In her post, the mom wrote that the money situation has changed the dynamic of their household. Fearing that her daughter could grow to resent her, the mom went online looking for advice. She added that she had sought advice on the forum before when she was initially deciding whether or not to take money from her daughter and was swayed to do so.

The debate that began in the comments was heated. There were many responses that agreed with the mother's decision, and seemingly just as many that disagreed. One common response was that the situation seems biased toward her son because he chose to focus on his education rather than joining the workforce. The commenters point out that this is unfair. While others suggested that paying for rent and food builds responsibility and character and she is doing the right thing for her daughter. Keep reading to find out what else people had to say about the story.

One user wrote on the post, "Do you need to charge (daughter)? I'd stop doing so." To which the mother replied: "We had long conversations when she started work about contributing to the bills and food and how important it is to get used to not having your whole monthly wage to keep right from the start. I'd rather not go back on that." 

Another user pointed out that the amount charged seemed a bit steep for a first job, and that the same responsibility should be expected from the son. The person wrote, "25% seems harsh. I don't know how I'd feel if I was in her shoes. I'd expect (son) to get a job and pay his own rent for a start."

Other commenters found that they agreed with the mother's choice to take money from her daughter to give to her son. "I would look at it no different to one working and the other not. If a child is earning money and has disposable income, it is only fair they pay rent. If the other is still in education, then they don't. If they both had the same opportunities to go to university, I don't think you are being unfair," they wrote.

Dr. Lise Deguire, the author of "Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor" is a clinical psychologist that gave a comment on the situation. She said: "The perception that another sibling is favored or treated better can lead to many lasting difficulties, including poor self-image, sibling conflict, and resentment of parents. On the other hand, people often deeply appreciate feeling that their parents treated all their children with equal love, care and support."

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Do you think the mother in this story was being unfair? What would you do in this situation? Let us know what you think and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones.