Momzilla Tries To Hijack Daughter's Wedding To Turn It Into Her Own Dream Ceremony
Nov 16, 2023 by apost team
Wedding planning has always been challenging. While some people opt to have someone plan for them, some couples really try to work collaboratively and do it on their own. In the case of user Guilty_Balance who took to Reddit’s AITA Thread, she encountered a huge obstacle in mounting the perfect wedding – her own mother.
Her mother would call vendors without their knowledge, insisting on her own ideas, which caused stress and tension. Eventually, it became a thing and her mother decided to take matters into her own hands.
“I wouldn't take issue with this but my mom and I have wildly different tastes, every time me or my fiancé tell her something like how want to have this color for the table clothes (sic) or these flowers she'll tell us that they look bad and will give us her own plan,” the Original Poster (OP) explained.
According to OP, having her mother in the planning process was “exhausting” as she would insist on different ideas, and when she got rejected, she would throw a fit and guilt-trip the couple for not following her wishes.
OP thinks that her mother was doing this because she only had a modest courthouse wedding for herself. In one instance, the couple, along with the mother, visited a venue that the couple wanted. However, the mother kept on yapping about how ugly the place was.
“I snapped and told her that if she wanted to plan a wedding so badly she should get remarried. It was cruel but I was so tired of her trying to have her perfect wedding through me. My fiancé thinks I'm not at fault but the rest of my family doesn't,” OP said.
OP has since been wondering if she was in the wrong for telling her mother off.
Reddit users unanimously supported the bride-to-be, advising her to set boundaries with her mother.
“NTA. Cut that off - tell her she is not welcome to come to any viewings, she is allowed to send you 1 email per week with her suggestions but that is it, and that if she calls and makes appointments for you anywhere else she is no longer invited to the wedding,” a user commented.
“NTA. Clearly establish the line for your mom. Step back from dealing with her whenever she crosses the line. 'This is my wedding, mom. The decision is mine and my fiancée's.'” another suggested.
“NTA - Sounds annoying af, I hate the 'overly helpful planner' thing, I have family that does this too. Really, you're gonna have to stop humoring her by inviting her to showings/going to ones she books for you or it'll continue,” someone said.
Others also suggested that OP should learn how to grow a spine and enforce new boundaries within the wedding and her mother.
“NTA. Stop letting her manipulate you. They are fake tears. Let her cry. She is a grown ass woman having a tantrum and you allow this to happen?? I hate to see how you discipline your future children. Jeeez get a goddamn spine would you,” one user wrote.
“Stop telling her any of your plans and present her with nothing but an invite. NTA,” another recommended.
“Put her on a very strict info diet. And set up passwords with all your vendors so that she can't call pretending to be you,” someone even suggested.
In a follow-up post, the daughter shared that she confronted her mother about her behavior.
In OP’s follow-up update, she revealed how her confrontation with her mother unraveled.
“It started off bad as she brought her binder and had her own wedding dress in her car. Her dress is in very bad condition, would not fit either me or my fiancé and is quite frankly hideous..She assumed that we had invited her to apologize and let her plan the wedding however she wanted. How she jumped to that conclusion I have no idea,” OP recalled.
However, OP tried to sugarcoat her message – saying that they just don’t want her to get “overly stressed,” instead of telling her that she hasn’t been helpful.
For what it’s worth, the mother still didn’t take the sugarcoated feedback well and started crying at the restaurant. She even condescendingly told her daughter that “she'd already given up getting the perfect son-in-law and grandchildren so at the least we could let her plan the wedding.”
Her mother’s tantrums threw OP off forcing her to tell her mother that she would only be just a mere guest and “nothing more.” She also threatened to cut her mother’s speech if she would “behave like a child.”
In the end, the couple left the mother in the restaurant crying and screaming about the argument. Everything turned out fine until their florist called the couple and informed them that her mother had tried to contact them again in an attempt to change the flower arrangements behind their back.
This forced OP to officially uninvite her mother to her wedding with the full support of her fiance, and her in-laws.For Illustration Purposes Only, Generated with AI by social sweethearts GmbH
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the daughter was wrong to react the way she did? How would you handle a similar situation? Let us know, and pass this on to your family, friends and other loved ones!