Moms Saying Being Boy Mom Is Different To Being Girl Mom Get Called Out In Thread Online
Oct 12, 2021 by apost team
Being a parent comes with many responsibilities and plenty of challenges along the way. However, some parents believe that those challenges differ depending on whether you have a son or a daughter. Many parents like to focus on what it's really like to be a mother of a son and what it's like to be a father of a daughter, as it's two people of different genders having a strong connection with one another. On the other hand, some parents don't think this should make a difference in how you raise your children.
Reinforcing stereotypical gender roles typically goes along with the idea of how challenging it can be to be a parent of one gender while raising a child of a different gender, assuming that everyone identifies with only one gender in the first place. Some moms might let it slide when their sons play too much in the mud or act aggressively because that's what they're stereotypically supposed to do, whereas they wouldn't allow the same had they had a daughter instead.
The hashtag #boymom has been taking over Instagram with more than 14,000 posts showing mothers and their sons. While the hashtag seems innocent enough, some parents aren't thrilled with the idea of moms insinuating the idea that their role as a mother is different simply because they are raising a son and not a daughter. One mother went to the parenting forum on Reddit in February 2020, sharing her take on the matter and sparked an insightful discussion with plenty of moms chiming in with their own thoughts.
Is There Really A Difference?
Starting off her Reddit post titled "What makes being a "Boymom" so different than just a mom?" the original poster asked, "What is up with the whole #boymom saying? I'm sure having a little boy is equally as wonderful as having a little girl and yet I have never, one time, ever heard anyone say or use #girlmom." OP explained that it seems like there are a lot of sayings and interpretations that go along with being the mother of a son, such as not knowing what true love is until you have a son, or feeling unwavering loyalty from your child.
"I just feel like it implies some kind of line in the sand attitude that separates mothers who have just boys from the rest of motherhood entirely," OP said. Although she found it to be a strange way of thinking, OP didn't think this mindset was offensive; she was just confused about it. "I have a little girl and I just couldn't imagine something that I would want to hashtag as a girl mom, because that seems strange to me as well," she explained. "Aren't we all in this together?"
OP's post sparked a debate in the comments about whether moms should label themselves as part of the #boymom group or if the whole matter was simply unnecessary. While some mothers chimed in about how sweet and innocent the hashtag is, others pointed out that it could be seen as sexist or offensive. Other parents pointed out that there really shouldn't even be a difference with raising boys versus girls.
Moms Stand Their Ground
One user commented that she used the hashtag in the past because she loves her sons so much and claimed that the hashtag was by no means a way to show superiority. "I resonate more with boys," she said. Continuing on, the self-described boy-mom said she was "over the moon" each time she found out she was having a boy.
However, the majority of moms in the comments disagreed. Another user commented, "So many that I know personally desperately want or wanted a girl. Then they adopt this huge #boymom mentality after they find out it's a boy and it always seems like an overcompensation to me." A third user said, "I have a daughter… I just see myself as a 'MOM' plain and simple. I love having a daughter but don't think any sex/gender is superior than the other."
One user pointed out that #boymom and #girlmom seem to be used as a way for mothers to feel better about having only sons or only daughters. The user continued, "I think #boymom may be more prevalent because it's assumed (either correctly or incorrectly) that women want at least one daughter. That being said, as a mom of two boys, I think it's an irritating trend."
Even though the hashtag seemed to have good intentions and it's normal for parents to be extremely proud of their children, many moms agreed that it wasn't really necessary and that all moms should work together in order to navigate motherhood in the best way possible.For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/LightFieldStudios
What do you think about the mothers differentiating themselves based on the gender of their child? Have you ever used one of these hashtags? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family members and friends, too.