Mom Won’t Leave Her Kids Alone With Mother-in-Law After She Pierced Newborn’s Ears Behind Her Back

Nov 24, 2021 by apost team

Ear piercing is one of the most common forms of body modification and is popular in many cultures around the world. Wearing earrings can be a simple yet effective way to make a statement with your appearance and can also be seen as a great way to show off one’s culture. 

Although many people view piercings as accessories, it’s important to remember that they can make life-lasting changes to a person’s body. There are some health risks that go along with getting a piercing, which is why some people opt to wait until they are old enough to handle the pain and potential side effects.

A mother of two went to Reddit in July 2019 to share her frustrations about her infant daughter getting her ears pierced. Both she and her husband were against the idea of piercing their baby’s ears at such a young age and wanted to wait until she was old enough to make the decision herself. However, it was part of her husband’s culture for girls to get their ears pierced basically once it’s safe enough for them after they’re born.

The woman’s mother-in-law wouldn’t let up about this and insisted that the baby get her ears pierced. The mother said no. However, when the mother-in-law was babysitting the kids one day, she went ahead and got the baby girl’s ears pierced behind the parents’ backs. Since then, the mother doesn’t trust her mother-in-law enough to leave her alone with the kids. Wondering if she made the right decision, she went to Reddit to ask users for their advice.

Disrespecting Her Wishes

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In her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she and her husband’s family have had some cultural differences in the past. She usually stays out of it unless they involve her kids — a 4-year-old son and a 3-month-old daughter. Instead, they make decisions based on what they feel is best for their family.

“A lot of these cultural aspects, I refer to my husband,” she said. “If they’re important to him, we do them. And he’s never wanted to do anything that would be harmful to myself or our kids.” OP said that her husband’s culture is amazing, and they’re raising their kids to follow some traditions, but not the ones that are outdated or that they disagree with.

“One tiny thing that came about when I had a daughter was ear piercing,” OP said. “It’s a big deal in my husband’s culture that the baby girls get their ears pierced pretty much at birth.” OP wasn’t comfortable with this, though, and wanted to wait until her daughter was old enough to decide for herself. She repeatedly expressed this to her mother-in-law, who was very persistent with trying to get OP to pierce her daughter’s ears.

Despite their differences, it seemed like the mother-in-law was respecting OP’s wishes, until one day, she babysat the kids while the parents were running errands. OP explained, “Mother-in-law kept them out a bit later and when she returned… my daughter had pierced ears.” She had taken them to OP’s sister-in-law to get them done since she’s done them for all of the babies in the family.

Trying To Move Forward

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OP and her husband were furious. “I felt so violated, took my kids and told her to leave,” she said. Since then, she’s decided that she doesn’t want her mother-in-law alone with the kids. “I’m not banning her from them, period, but she’s not going to be able to babysit anymore,” OP said. “My husband is on the fence, but says he’ll back me up either way.”

OP also said that she plans on removing the earrings as soon as it’s safe to. She continued, “My husband’s family is saying I’m being so disrespectful and I’ve said that I just don’t trust her, since she’s continuously disrespecting my parenting.”

Fortunately for this mom, Reddit users were on their side and told OP that she had every right to parent her children how she wanted. One user commented, “Don’t feel guilty about this for a second. If she wants to babysit your kids she needs to respect your incredibly reasonable boundaries.” 

Another user said, “Your children not hers. If she can’t respect the decisions you and your husband make then she isn’t fit to babysit.” A third added, “That is absolutely NOT OK. It’s not like oh she painted your kid’s nails and that washes off. No, she put HOLES in YOUR BABY’s ears.”

In an edit of her original post, OP explained that her daughter is fine and that her sister-in-law thankfully used sterilized needles. However, she was still planning on waiting until the piercings healed, and it was safe to take the earrings out.

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Do you agree with this mother’s decision to not let her mother-in-law be alone with her kids anymore? At what age did you get your ears pierced or allow your kids to get theirs pierced? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.

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